All right, welcome to Esther Club. It's a global pandemic.

I'm gaining weight rapidly. This isn't what I thought.

It's June of 2020.

It's June.

I'm sorry, but New Year's Eve, 2019, me having a full depressive episode in the room right there feels like five minutes ago.

I had the worst start to this year, like, that I've ever had to any year.

And it's just, I'm never a person that's like, 2015 sucks.

Like, this is what I've never been about that.

Like, I think that's bad energy.

I think it's, it's just bad news i'm

always very into like you know i feel like i learned in college like is not fucking earthquake

or did i just kick the coffee table that's yeah um i used to have bad know, where like, it's two o'clock and you're like, well, today's just a bad day.

And then the rest of the day is a bad day.

Okay, I have gotten rid of those.

I don't do that anymore.

I forgot where I learned to stop doing that, but I think it was sometime in

around college age where it's like, why? Yeah, how did I? Because I used to, I don't know,

if it was like a therapist or a social worker or like some self-help book. I don't remember,

but I don't do that anymore. There's no like, this is a bad day.

The day is a loss, you know, so eat whatever you want or lay on the couch and wallow.

Wallow is a weird word, but it somehow fits. So now I'm talking about how I don't label my days bad anymore i don't know why i'm

talking about that but it hopefully and the way you do that is you just it's like there's no good

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