Hard For Hot Dads | Your Mom's House Ep. 838

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Comedy Interviews

4.7 • 23.4K Ratings

🗓️ 3 December 2025

⏱️ 81 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

SPONSORS: Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code YMH at https://bluechew.com Head to https://Mood.com and use code YOURMOM to find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for, and let Mood help you discover YOUR perfect mood. Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/YMH . Promo Code YMH New Customers Bet $5 Get $200 in Bonus Bets If Your Bet Wins. The Crown Is Yours! Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. #DKPartner This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina roast bland Thanksgiving food, obsess over an Olympian-level dad at the kiddie pool, fall in love with a furious celibate called GoogleDaddy, and spiral about a paranoid flashlight guy while trying to de-fatten their cat. Plus the main mommies get emotional about Tom’s new Netflix special, check out some more clips from FedSmoker Jr, learn about defending yourself from "clowns", and shop tactical belts for Christmas. Dreamboat Dad: if you're out there, leave a comment for Tom! Your Mom’s House Ep. 838 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT), or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Pass-thru of per wager tax may apply in IL. 1 per new DraftKings customer. Must register new DraftKings account to receive reward Token. Must select Token BEFORE placing min. $5 bet to get 1 promo code to redeem a 3-month NBA League Pass subscription, complimentary of DraftKings, and get max. $200 in Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Min. -500 odds req. Token and Bonus Bets are single-use and non-withdrawable. Bonus Bet expires in 7 days (168 hours) and stake removed from payout. Token expires 12/7/25. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos . NBA League Pass: Subscription auto-renews monthly at then-current price (currently $16.99/mo); cancel anytime. Terms, restrictions, and eligibility requirements apply. Redeem League Pass by 12/19/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Addt’l terms: https://support.watch.nba.com/hc/en-us/articles/9165532876183-League-Pass-Terms-of-Use_ . Offer ends 11/30/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:37 - Tommy's Buns & Tina's Sticks 00:07:42 - Tom's New Special 00:11:20 - Opening Clip: Aloha Daddy 00:21:31 - Thanksgiving Gaycation 00:38:01 - Stay Safe Out There 00:48:46 - Shopping For Self-Defense Toys 00:55:05 - More From FedSmoker Jr 01:01:16 - Shoutout To MGM & Chef Jose Andres 01:04:32 - The Cat Feeder Conundrum 01:07:24 - Body Fat Percentage 01:18:55 - Wrap Up 01:19:21 - Closing Song - "Fed Smoker Rides Eternal" by Reverend John Wheeler Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome, welcome to your mom's house.
0:11.3	Welcome to your mom's house.
0:13.9	Hope you had a great holiday week.
0:17.7	You were with your families.
0:19.7	If you're an American, if you're not American,
0:21.6	nothing matters anyway.
0:23.4	No.
0:23.8	Your life isn't significant.
0:26.2	You know what really made me upset is that we're not black
0:29.5	because Black Thanksgiving, from what I understand,
0:33.4	is where it is.
0:34.7	Black Thanksgiving is NBA All-Star Weekend.
0:36.5	Is that what you're talking about?
0:38.8	No. Oh, are you're talking about? No.
0:39.8	Oh, are you talking about Thanksgiving?
0:42.1	Their actual food items I've heard are so much superior because we don't have flavor in our food,
0:48.9	which is why I don't enjoy Thanksgiving dinner.
0:51.8	Bland, bland, bland, bland, bland.
0:53.3	I've never enjoyed Thanksgiving food. Flavorless. I don't like it at all.land, bland, bland, bland. I've never enjoyed Thanksgiving.
0:54.8	Flavorless.
0:55.6	I don't like it at all.
0:56.5	Why did the settlers not enjoy seasoning?
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 11 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Tom Segura, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Tom Segura and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.