Hey there, Jen here, and this is a happy bit.

I want to talk about love and approval, particularly in our romantic or love relationships,

our marriages, our partnerships.

Every single one of us was born with this need for love.

And it's wired into us so that we have our needs met by a caregiver and we can stay alive.

And as infants, we have this need and we carry it forward all of our lives. Well, as our rational

brains begin to develop, we can think about this need logically and determine that maybe it's not as much of a need.

After all, we try to be independent and self-sustaining, hopefully.

But when all is said and done, when emotions hit us, when stress hits us, when crisis happens, when trauma occurs, when we're sad, depressed, or anxious, those feelings come rushing back

because they are literally wired into our brains. We seek love and approval. Well, how does this look

in a marriage relationship, in a long-term partnership, in those romantic interactions? When we

approach those relationships needing our partner's

love and approval, it creates an imbalance. It creates a dissatisfaction in ourselves because more

often than not, our partner is not going to meet our needs completely ever, but also he might not meet those

needs in the ways that we want. And then we might tend to engage in a bit of scorekeeping, noticing

the flaws, noticing where they fall short, always longing to meet this need and finally

put an end to this need for love and

approval. And we think that if our partners or spouses would just measure up and do it a little

better and be more thoughtful and use more words of approval and do more around the house that

finally that need would be satisfied. And I want you to

close your eyes for a minute if you're not driving, if you can, and acknowledge first that you have

this need for love and approval. You might be doubtful, you might be skeptical. But deep down,

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