Hey Freaks, it's Friday, May 29th, 2026. Coming up on the program today, nothing screams romance quite like a painful anal pegging. Plus, the instant regret of fucking a Thai ladyboy. And when making s'mores ends in an explosive mushroom cloud and potential miscarriage. All this was your voicemails today on TV.

And now, Distorted View Daily proudly presents white nationalist Nick Fuente for the internet's good old days. When I was growing up, the internet was synonymous with

Edge Lord, crazy, like, up, the internet was synonymous with edge lord crazy like everybody said the N-word, everybody loved Hitler, everybody was making death threats against each other. That's like what the internet was for. You'd log on to any website, any website at all. You'd log on to the Food Network website and say, I'm going to kill your

entire family, N-word. Hitler's awesome. You would go in any, any forum you would go to. Any

forum, any video game lobby would eventually turn into, like, I hate your race, I'm going

to come to your house and kill you.

That was the whole internet.

And everyone on the internet was like that.

And then everyone became a faggot.

Then pornography made everybody trans.

And now it's nowhere.

Now it's only here.

Now only we're doing that.

It's Distorted View Daily, celebrating Peter and Marissa's two-year anniversary.

I can eat pussy for days, says Tim.

My name is...

New turds on the tenderloins?

I don't have kitty milk.

Yes, everybody. Tim Benson back here with you one more time as we wrap things up for the week.

You know I'm pissed off about something.

I'm disgusted when I start the show off with.

I find myself more annoyed with liberals than with weird-ass fucking conservatives,

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