Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm your guest bailiff David Reese. This week,

Grime and Punishment. Fran brings the case against her husband Ben. Fran would like to

hire a house cleaner to help them maintain their home in sanity with a five-month-old

child. Ben refuses insisting they can do it themselves. Who is right? Who is wrong?

These rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and issues the obscure cultural

reference. You must find it pleasant to be rich. I'm not rich. Oh, I am often mistaken.

I worked as an artisanal pencil sharpener to come over here. A pencil sharpener. What

was the intention? I told you to make money to come over here. That was the reason. What

was the intention? Because if work has no intention, it's not work at all. It's an empty

void. Well, what would you call podcasting? For me, this is a religious experience. Here,

let me try that. Yeah, I feel it. It's kind of like being in church. Would you like to

try swearing them in? Guest bailiff David Reese? Yes. Ben and Fran, please rise and raise

your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth

so help you God or whatever? I do. I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's

ruling? I do. I do as well. Thank you. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed. Thank you very

much, guest bailiff David Reese, star of going deep with David Reese premiering this very

evening on the S. Choir Network at 10 p.m. Is all that information correct, David Reese?

Yes. Totally correct. And thank you. Fran and Ben, you may be seated for an immediate

summary judgment in one of your favors. Can either of you, Fran, you Ben, name the obscure

piece of semi-popular culture that I paraphrased as I entered the courtroom. Ben, you are the

respond, I was going to give it to Fran. That's it. We don't do that anymore. Ben has the

option as the respondent. You've been dragged in here against your will by your wife Fran, Ben,

...