Grieving Someone You Lost Twice | After Hours With Amanda Ep. 49

After Hours With Amanda

Kids & Family, Parenting

5.0 • 697 Ratings

🗓️ 27 March 2024

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode of After Hours With Amanda, I’m sharing about my brother Adam, grief, addiction, and the complicated pain of loving someone while also needing boundaries. This one is tender, personal, and heavy, because grief after addiction does not fit into a neat little box. I talk about mourning someone while they are still alive, protecting memories that feel too precious for everyone to hold, and learning that grief is not linear. If you have loved someone through addiction or lost someone in a complicated way, I hope this feels gentle and honest.

00:00 Welcome and Why This Feels Nervous
02:19 What Grief Does and Does Not Feel Like
03:41 Adam’s Story and Losing Him in 2019
06:04 How Addiction Started
08:06 Watching Addiction Change a Sibling
10:36 Loving an Addict Is Complicated
13:35 Grieving Someone Before They Die
16:54 You Can Change Your Story
18:16 Shame, Faith, and Addiction
21:05 Motherhood and Seeing Every Person as Someone’s Baby
24:15 Grieving While They Are Still Alive
27:03 The Life I Imagined for Him
30:11 Loving Someone in Addiction Is Hard
33:09 Dopesick and Grief Triggers
35:24 Protecting the Snow Globe of a Memory
40:20 Bringing Addiction Into the Light
43:14 Grief Is Not Linear
47:55 Finding Safe People for Grief
50:27 Holding Hope and Boundaries
52:30 If No One Has Told You Lately

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to another episode of After Hours with Amanda. If you are new here, welcome.
0:06.0	This is a podcast that is for everyone about so many things, just journeying life. If you're not new here,
0:13.4	hi. We are diving into, I'm actually really nervous. We're diving into an episode today
0:19.7	about grief.
0:21.4	More specifically, we're going to talk about my brother.
0:24.3	And this has been a request since I started this podcast.
0:27.6	And you all found out about Adam probably 2020, like the year I started this podcast.
0:33.9	And I have politely avoided it in the sense of it's a very very very delicate subject one
0:45.0	two grief is so unique for everybody the journey is so different two people can lose the same
0:51.6	person in a sense relationship wise like a mom or a mom.
0:55.0	And the experience that you have from that is so unique and different.
0:58.6	And so it makes grief very hard to navigate because while navigating it, you're also
1:03.3	navigating how you would navigate something.
1:05.8	So we're going to dive into that.
1:08.2	It is a busy week around here.
1:09.6	I'm so excited.
1:10.7	We have spring break in literally what I would consider now two and a half days because the school day is almost over. And I could not be happier. And everyone keeps going to go anywhere for spring break. No, absolutely not. My goal is to do as little as possible besides going to see Kung Fu Fu Panda for, because we, I love the Kung Fu Panda series.
1:31.0	So I always still, that's saying, yesterday is history.
1:37.1	Tomorrow is a mystery.
1:38.7	Today is a gift.
1:39.6	That's why it's called a present.
1:42.0	The amount of times I use that.
	...

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