No One Wins When You’re Keeping Score | After Hours With Amanda Ep. 48

After Hours With Amanda

Kids & Family, Parenting

5.0 • 697 Ratings

🗓️ 20 March 2024

⏱️ 51 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of After Hours With Amanda, I’m talking about marriage, communication, household labor, and the sneaky little scoreboard that can show up when we are tired, overwhelmed, and not saying what we actually need. I share what I’ve learned in my own relationship with Blake, including the tap in method, why social media can feed resentment, and how asking “what do you mean by that?” has helped us slow down before everything turns into a whole thing. This is not relationship advice from a pedestal. It is a long voicemail from someone still learning how to communicate, not condemn.

00:00 Getting Comfy and Welcome Back
00:46 I Got the Cheer Coach Position
01:51 The Besties Picked Relationships
02:31 Don’t Hear What I’m Not Saying
03:16 Will Blake Come on the Podcast?
05:15 Marrying the Person and the Family
06:32 People Get More Pronounced With Age
08:56 What Makes Marriage Hard?
11:01 Stop Expecting Someone to Change
12:07 Almost Not Walking Down the Aisle
13:52 Household Labor Is a Loaded Question
16:20 The Danger of Keeping Score
18:00 The Tap In Method
20:05 Social Media Can Feed Resentment
23:25 The Stair Meltdown and Therapy
24:14 Communicate, Don’t Condemn
27:14 Keep Getting to Know Your Partner
30:17 Listening to Your Partner’s World
34:59 What Do You Mean By That?
37:05 Put a Pin in the Argument
38:38 Pluck a Weed, Don’t Grow a Root
40:14 How We Tap Out and Tap In
43:15 Cheap Dates and Real Connection
45:18 Your Partner Was Once a Tiny Person
47:08 Relationships Are the Best Kind of Work
49:30 If You Have Not Heard This Lately

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to After Hours with Amanda. I'm literally kicking off my shoes to get comfy with you
0:05.6	because I can't sit in a chair with shoes on and be comfortable. Welcome back. Last week was our first
0:13.2	episode and I actually uploaded it to YouTube as well. So I felt very savvy. If you're new here, welcome to the After Hours with Amanda podcast, the podcast that's for
0:23.8	everyone, where we do life together.
0:26.0	I am still figuring out how to get my intro music onto the episode, but since this episode
0:31.7	will actually air tomorrow Wednesday, I'm going to chat the gal that helped me with it
0:37.0	and be like, hey, girl, where do I put
0:40.0	this in?
0:41.2	Because I just want it to be always there.
0:42.8	Maybe there's a place on the hosting site that I can.
0:46.1	If you didn't already know, I got the cheer coach position.
0:51.2	You guys, I'm so excited.
0:53.5	I'm so excited. I'm going to buy an obscene amount of dumb dumps, okay? Because
0:58.7	there's not a kid alive that doesn't love dumb dumps, right? Okay. And I've already been like
1:03.8	planning my stuff. I'm like, okay, because it's the littler tiny people. Okay, so we're dealing with
1:08.4	a younger age group. So they're just happy to be there, right? They're just so excited. And so I'm like, okay. Okay, so we're dealing with a younger age group. So they're just happy to be there,
1:12.2	right? They're just so excited. And so I'm like, okay, we're going to get our listening ears on.
1:16.6	We're going to do the whole like when you say the girl's first grade teacher started this and
1:21.9	she'll look at the class and she'll be like waterfall. And everyone's like, shh. I'm like, can I do this? Can I do this with a group larger than a
1:31.8	class size and younger than first grade? But I think, I think, well, yeah, no younger than first grade,
1:38.7	but I believe in us. Also still forlorn about going to Disneyland. When is our next trip?
1:44.8	I don't know.
	...

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