Grecian Marble Wet T-Shirt Contest
Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak
Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak
4.8 • 2K Ratings
🗓️ 4 March 2025
⏱️ 64 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The human body can manage all manner of insults and injuries, but complimentary valet should be standard. Shiny versus glowy versus sliding down the hood of a car. Kate gets a hot towel at the barber shop. Jacqueline’s uncapped pen dries out. A Grecian marble wet t-shirt contest. Microdosing alcohol. A curly haircut takes three days to settle, but Kate needs someone to tell her it looks the same. Jacqueline wants to take up 3D printing and continues to yearn for a patent illustrator friend. Returning to your hometown Whole Foods. Reserving the Chantilly cake. In line for a honey baked ham that spans 10 blocks. Vegan caviar is here.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Give yourself the luxury you deserve with Quince. |
| 0:02.8 | Go to quince.com slash hags for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. |
| 0:08.8 | 365 day returns, folks. |
| 0:11.4 | Damn. |
| 0:11.7 | That's Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash hags to get free shipping and 365 day returns. |
| 0:18.5 | Quince.com slash hags. |
| 0:22.9 | Two best friends friends both alike in dignity, |
| 0:25.5 | nurturing phantoms and courting the muse. |
| 0:27.9 | The hag divines when something must die. |
| 0:30.1 | Yes, that was poog. |
| 0:31.3 | But this is huge. |
| 0:32.9 | The ego loves to seek, but never to find. |
| 0:35.7 | It was Berlant and Novak the whole time. Here we go, |
| 0:42.0 | hello. Okay, hi. Oh my God. Good to see. You look gorgeous. How shiny am I? Shiner |
| 0:51.2 | than usual. Sure. But I like shine. |
| 0:55.0 | Like, I didn't check my shine. |
| 0:56.3 | You're glowing. Because you know what it is? I don't have oily skin. So I never think I'm going to be perceived that way. Right. But of course you could be. I'm shiny. I'm Chukombo. My gosh, I had a huge memory of Girl Scouts. We were like fucking 12 and they did some kind of, you know, |
| 1:12.2 | almost like puberty's here, assembly or like something we're at. There were other troops there. |
| 1:17.8 | Other strange troops. Someone was doing a presentation about almost like skin care types that |
| 1:22.3 | are going to be coming into play at your puberty. They had us ask these questions like a test |
| 1:26.6 | to see what kind of skin you had, right? |
| 1:28.5 | And basically, like, one girl sort of answered the questions in such a way that it was like, |
... |
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