Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baylor F. Jessie Thorn. This week, great

balls of iron. Aaron brings the case against his wife Molly. They recently moved into a new

home located next door to a public park. The kids playing in the park continually kick

or throw balls over the fence and the couple's yard is strewn with those balls. Aaron and

Molly can't agree on how best to return the balls and appease the kids. Who's right and

who's wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom

and presents the obscure cultural reference. When I was 10 years old, I had a kite. Awesome

kite. I could fly it so high you couldn't see it. One day, I crashed down. I followed

the string and it landed right over there across the street right on the lawn of that

internet court. Oh, did he take your kite? Yeah. He takes everything that lands on his fake

internet court lawn. But that's not the point. The point is I saw him talking to his court

and kissing it. Sides. Everyone knows what he did to his bailiff. Dun dun dun dun. Jessie

thorns wear them in. Please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God or whatever? I do. I do. Do you

swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he is constitutionally opposed

to balls? I do. I do. Very well, Judge Hodgman. Aaron and Molly, you may be seated. For an immediate

summary judgment in your favor, can either of you name the obscure cultural reference that

I delivered as I entered the courtroom. Aaron, you bring this case to this court. You get

first crack at it, which is it? Do you recognize the quote? No, you know, I don't, but I feel

I shouldn't at least take a stab at it. Sure. Take a stab at it. Why not? Why not start

with metaphors of violence? Sure. Let's go with what do you think I'd? God, I don't know.

Maybe it's Mark Twain. They have they have kites back then. Truly a wild slashing stab.

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