Going beyond 'sorry for your loss' when a friend is grieving

Life Kit

NPR

Education, Business, Self-improvement, Kids & Family, Health & Fitness

4.5 • 4.9K Ratings

🗓️ 5 May 2026

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When a friend's loved one has died, what do you do? Send flowers? Condolences? Distract them? It can be hard to know how to support a grieving friend. You want to be there for them, but you also know there's not much you can do to heal their pain. This episode, reporter Julia Furlan talks to grief experts about the most effective ways to show up for someone. And she shares insights from the times she's supported her own friends through their loss. This episode was originally published on Dec. 5, 2024.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to Life Kit from NPR.
0:07.5	Hey, everybody, it's Mariel.
0:10.4	We're starting this episode in the top drawer of a dresser in reporter Julia Furlan's living room.
0:19.1	In that drawer is a small decorative bag filled with a few little things.
0:24.5	Okay, here it is.
0:26.7	I can't believe I found it.
0:29.8	There's a pair of avocado socks.
0:32.2	They're purple with little avocado.
0:33.7	Fortin tiller fish.
0:35.1	It's a miracle fish.
0:36.2	Night garden mix Hudson Valley Seed Company. Keep cleansing pink collateries. Avocados. Fortune Tiller fish. It's a miracle fish. Night Garden Mix.
0:39.5	Hudson Valley Seed Company.
0:43.3	Deep cleansing pink clay mud mask.
0:45.1	Doesn't say when it expired.
0:47.0	That says, you're my queen.
0:54.0	Featuring the Queen of England in a flower crown. I bought this one, the queen of England had not died.
0:57.0	Julia is describing a care package that she intended to send to her friend whose mom passed away in 2022.
1:04.0	She reported this episode in 2024.
1:07.0	This bag represents a total fail in supporting my friend.
1:12.4	When you're grieving the loss of a loved one, I mean, it's overwhelming, right?
1:17.0	It's all-encompassing.
1:18.5	And supporting someone through that can also be overwhelming and awkward.
	...

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