God Smites Scientology Leader David Miscavige

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 19 January 2023

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On the next mad-dope God Pod: Santa, Jesus, and God battle ‘Focus on the Family’ ad buys and take on Tom Cruise and missing Scientology leader David Miscavige. On ‘Ask God,’ you’ll learn about refreshing cold colons, Santa’s influence on Bezos, bottles of pee, if Santa will go to heaven, coal output, and Jesus juice. On the ‘GD News,’ the gang discusses if ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’ is effective. Don’t miss the new segment, ‘Sweet Santa Quotes!’ The God Pod: Have It Yahweh! After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans. NEW EPISODES MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS The God Pod is everywhere! Links to all our channels here: https://linktr.ee/godpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This time on The God Pod.
0:02.6	Why did David miscavage go to the store?
0:06.6	Why?
0:07.5	I don't know, but he's sure right here.
0:09.4	I don't know, but I can't serve him those process vapors.
0:12.1	Ho ho ho ho ho!
0:15.5	Focus on the family is trying to buy ads on our blasphemous podcast.
0:21.6	And apparently whoever's in charge of their ad spend doesn't do any fucking research.
0:28.8	It's not just that I've gotten one email about this.
0:31.9	Oh.
0:32.4	I've gotten like five.
0:34.2	Oh my god.
0:35.9	I don't know what to tell you, but the answer is no.
0:39.1	Ho ho ho ho ho!
0:41.3	Sweet Santaquans.
0:44.0	There is no greater sound in the world than the rustle of Santa's sleigh bells on Christmas Eve.
0:50.3	How would you all know you're supposed to be sleeping?
0:53.8	Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!
1:06.2	Hi, hi, hi there, human.
1:07.6	I'm God.
1:08.6	Welcome to The God Pod.
1:10.4	Let's meet my co-host for the day, Jesus.
	...

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