God Smites George Santos

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 23 January 2023

⏱️ 57 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Moses joins God from the bathroom for an update on ‘Focus on the Family’, Hulk Hogan wooed by Scientology, Musk’s new role at Twitter as supplies salesman, and bankrupted Alex Jones blaming calculators for enslaving humanity, On ‘Ask God,’ we learn if todgers wear monocles, God’s biggest and favorite mistake, farts or bananas, alien probes, and who Moses and God would boff. Things get woyce on ‘The Moses Show!’ A.K.A. ‘Have Ya Hoyd,’ when they discover George Santos stole money from a disabled veteran, Boebert’s still speaking, and David Crosby joins God’s band. The God Pod: Have It Yahweh! After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans. NEW EPISODES MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS The God Pod is everywhere! Links to all our channels here: https://linktr.ee/godpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Today, on The God Pun, I would say that humans obviously are my biggest mistake, but they're also my favorite mistake.
0:08.4	Yeah.
0:09.4	Because they make all that TV that I love.
0:11.9	You were pretty bored before television came along. You were like, eh.
0:15.4	Oh, I had no idea how bored I was, Moses, until humans started writing drawing stuff on cave walls.
0:23.2	Yeah.
0:23.9	I was like, she's blowing my mind. Look how cute they are.
0:28.4	Moses, have you ever been annually probed by an alien?
0:32.4	Uh, I have not. I have not.
0:34.4	It's not bad.
0:35.4	Well, now I'm a little upset because they never offer it.
0:38.4	Yeah.
0:39.4	Matter of fact, a couple times I was like, is everything else needs to happen here? They're like, ah, no we're good.
0:43.4	No, we're good. We're good on you, Moses.
0:45.4	We these days, it's like rocket fuel. I'm so old, I can't really handle it anymore.
0:52.4	Same, same, same.
0:54.4	Right, high five, Moses. High five, I'm being old fucks.
1:10.4	What's up, Heathens? I'm God.
1:12.4	Welcome to the God Park. Let's meet my co-host for the day. You know them. You'll love them. It's Moses, everybody.
1:19.4	Well, well, well, hello, hello, hello, and I got to come up with something new.
1:25.4	I got to come up with some kind of opening, but that's all I got now. The well, well, well.
1:29.4	Moses, are you in the toilet right now? It sounds like you're in the bathroom.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from God, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of God and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.