Hey, freaks, it's Friday, January 30th, 20th, coming up on the program today, the pastor promising weight loss for the low, low price of $1.2 billion, plus faking deafness to avoid arrest.

Let's all picture Jesus and a wife beater chewing tobacco in his Ford F-150, and Duck Boy makes a mess.

All coming up today.

Distorted View Daily proudly presents great moments in voicemails left by your ex-girlfriend.

I hope you're really happy behind me and you feel about myself because, like, I don't know,

I'm pretty sure that everyone actually does give a shit about me. Like, everybody in the whole fucking world except for you and your fagged ass friends, like, oh, and by the way, way to fucking project everything on me, you fucking dick, like, ooh, I take you for granted and shit, yeah, that's all you. And it makes me feel like a piece of shit because you don't

fucking think I'm attracted and whatnot. What the fuck is that? I'm sorry, but literally,

every person has fucking talked to a pool that you fucking fuck me face down. Like, that makes

everyone think you're a fucking saggy day formal. Like, seriously? I just fucking do it already

because that's all you want is it up the ass. Next message. Listen, I want is for us to be done with and over with because you fucking suck. You need me want to fucking tell myself the past three years. I'm so fucking glad I didn't because now that it's done with I feel so much better. That means that was anything and I'm dealing with it now. I hope you're fucking happy being out drunk with sweats and shit because I hope you fucking get an SED and fucking die. If you got idiots of the pest thing the whole fucking world, I hate you. Next message. And don't forget, I live across the fucking street from you so I can come over anytime I fucking want.

I'm dead serious, like, fucking text me back or something, you cunt.

Not afraid to fucking show up at your place with a fucking baseball patent to beat the shit out of you in your car.

Next message.

And since you have such a small dick, I'd just like to let you know.

But now that I'm with Dan, and we're actually, like, serious, I'm like, you and I,

he's been a really nice cop.

It's much bigger than yours.

It feels very nice.

Plus, he likes to actually look at me and kiss me while he's fuck instead of how you like to fuck me feet down and treat me

like I was a piece of shit fucking dude

go fuck yourself, you faggit.

It's Distorted View Daily with Tim Henson.

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