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The God Pod

God Says "No" To Saving The King

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.71.2K Ratings

🗓️ 8 May 2023

⏱️ 67 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this episode of the God Pod: Mary Mags, with God as her copilot, read a four-star review and count down the top 10 most memorable moments from Charles’ coronation on ‘God’s Top Ten List.’ On ‘Human News,’ Trump throws a tantrum over Biden skipping coronation, Texas weatherman threatens kids with a gun, theocrat Rep Tim Burchett blames lack of Jesus for mass shootings, 61% of Americans want to ban assault weapons according to Fox poll, sugar daddy, Harlan Crow, paid for private school for Clarence Thomas’ child, All Supreme Court Justices not cool with oversight, Sam Alito is a man child, robots find out what it’s like to be an overworked human, Utahans can no longer rub one out to Pornhub without ID, and right-winger Steven Crowder crusades against no-fault divorce. On ‘Heaven News,’ cherubs are caught sneaking into Mary Mag’s pop-up pot bakery, God plans to open up a water park, the Heavenly choir performs “Stairway To Heaven,” and Mary reveals Jesus is not a great cook. On ‘Ask God,’ you’ll discover if God likes the idea of Trevor Noah and Tucker trade shows, if the Daily Mail is the newspaper of hell, if Eric Clapton is full of it, and if God would rather have a horizontal butt or a vertical mouth. Don’t miss Mary Mags new song ‘Single Deities’ and God’s New Commandment!!! The God Pod: Have It Yahweh! After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans. NEW EPISODES MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS Join our Discord chat server: https://discord.gg/7v3Cc4pjMC The God Pod is everywhere! https://linktr.ee/godpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Today, on The God Bot

0:02.8

They call her Grandmamate, like, does nots!

0:05.4

EEEEEEHHHHH

0:06.9

There's not a lot of grandmother's I hate in this world, but that.

0:10.5

Well, she's dead, so...

0:11.9

Hey, Satan, add a couple of logs to the fire from the day.

0:15.3

Lol, ye beg, muah!

0:16.6

Oh wow!

0:19.3

They tried to own me for thousands of years.

0:22.0

And God's too big for him.

0:23.4

And then I was like, fuck you, I'm starting to podcast.

0:26.1

And now, they're like, alright, fuck God, nobody cares about him anymore.

0:29.5

Let's own toxic masculinity, because that's really the real power over young boys.

0:36.3

Well, let's own masculinity and sell the toxic part as masculine.

0:41.5

And you're not a man unless you're a toxic piece of shit like Stephen Crowder or Joan Blogan.

0:49.7

That was your Heavenly News, everybody. Thank you.

0:52.2

Heavenly news, Heavenly news. That's what we call the Heavenly News, yeah.

0:59.5

Heavenly news, Heavenly news.

1:11.3

Hello and welcome to the GodPod, where we discuss politics and current events,

1:16.6

while still finding time to smite a few sinners.

1:20.5

I'm God. Thanks so much for joining me on this show once again.

1:24.8

We've got a fun show for you today.

...

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