Top Ten Signs You’re An Atheist

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 May 2023

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jesus and Santa join God to celebrate Short King of Kings Spring, pontificate about Peter Cottontail, read a review, and talk to Sylvia from Santa’s Village. You’ll discover if you’re an atheist on ‘Top Ten Signs You’re An Atheist.’ On ‘World News,’ the Church of England celebrates Jesus’s singlehood, 400+ laid off Burger King workers offered jobs with a cannabis company, TikToker sad her scheme for attention backfired, CEOs named John now outnumbered by women, Disney sues Ron DeSantis, and a brutal 2024 election ahead for republicans according to Fox News poll. On ‘Jesus News,’ Jesus tours wine country, endorses new Pinot Noir, launches new wine brand, hosts a wild party at Napa Valley Vineyard, swears walking on water is not a party trick, turns out to be a good tipper, responds to a heckler with a plague of locusts, and as always preaches to drink responsibly. On ‘God News,’ God takes a personal day, apologizes for 2020, admits to creating humans out of boredom, rolls his eyes at generic prayers for world peace, and debates Archangels over adding new deadly sin. On ‘Santa News,’ Elf leaders reject Santa’s offer as the Elf union goes on strike, Santa’s workshop shuts down as the Elf rebellion of 2023 ignites and causes a struggle to meet Christmas demand. On ‘Ask God,’ you’ll learn what Jerry Springer’s first episode was in heaven and who Santa will marry, boff, and kill. And Don’t miss God’s New Commandment if you want to go to heaven. The God Pod: Have It Yahweh! After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans. NEW EPISODES MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS Join our Discord chat server: https://discord.gg/7v3Cc4pjMC The God Pod is everywhere! https://linktr.ee/godpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Today on The Godbomb.
0:02.7	You got you smoking a joint, you're holding a bomb.
0:06.1	It says parental advisory, explicit content warning,
0:09.0	and it says divine blasphemy.
0:10.6	If you still click play,
0:12.4	expecting this to be a very serious religious program,
0:15.8	you've got issues, you've got it.
0:18.2	You're a fucking idiot.
0:19.2	I like the little sign in the corner that says,
0:21.2	this way to the drag brunch.
0:25.2	I mean, I'm single too. What the fuck?
0:27.7	The only person here that's not single is Santa.
0:30.3	Right, and I don't know if things are going well between them.
0:32.9	Yeah, I'm pretty sure that he's the kind that fucks around.
0:35.6	They were going well last night,
0:41.8	at the CEO level,
0:43.4	women finally outnumber men named Jon.
0:47.4	Wow.
0:49.1	Apparently Jon is a great name to choose for your son
0:53.1	if you want them to be like successful or rich.
0:56.8	I should have named you John, John Christ.
0:59.5	Oh, we go there in the world, in the world, in the world.
	...

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