Elf Strike Leaves Santa's Workshop in Chaos as Toys Pile Up on Shelves

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 11 May 2023

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On this episode of the God Pod: Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and Santa discuss totes, reefer humor, read a review from TurdNoodle, and sing tunes from ‘The Band.’ On ‘Top Ten Most Absurd Bible Stories You Never Learned in Sunday School,’ you’ll learn about David and the Giant Space Octopus, Noah and the time-traveling dinosaur, Moses and the Burning Bush that Sang Show Tunes, Job’s epic battle against an Army of Demonic Clowns, Jesus and the Talking Dog, and many more! On ‘The Stupid GD News,’ the gang cover the mass shooting in Texas by a right-wing extremist and the absurd response by Greg Abbott, a congressman who says thoughts and prayers are enough, and Marjorie Taylor Greene blames ‘evil forces.’ On ‘Entertainment News,’ opine on the tribute to Karl Lagerfeld at the Met Gala, the Hollywood writers’ strike, and why the Holy Spirit despises the 80’s. On ‘Holy Spirit News,’ you’ll learn why the Holy Spirit has to fly commercial. On ‘Jesus News,’ Jesus channels his inner Gaga and wears sandals with socks and a crown of thorns to the Met Gala. On ‘Santa News,’ Santa scrambles as elf strike continues. And don’t miss a very special Blessings and Smites! The God Pod: Have It Yahweh! After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans. NEW EPISODES MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS Join our Discord chat server: https://discord.gg/7v3Cc4pjMC The God Pod is everywhere! https://linktr.ee/godpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Coming up on the god pod now that nobody cares anymore and Ryan C. Crest is long gone. I know he's still there. Is he?
0:07.6	Yeah, he's still doing idle. Can we get a boner check on God knowing that Ryan C. Crest is still involved in American.
0:17.4	I just want you to know I'm staying a little quiet because that's fine. There are a few things I can say as a
0:23.8	humorous, randy iteration of Santa Claus. Santa, you don't have to be a randy iteration of yourself. You choose that. I just want to point that out.
0:37.8	Oh, hey Santa, did Carl tie you up in hell? Yes, I did.
0:46.8	If you both want to hang out, hey, that's fine. We want to.
0:49.8	Okay, we will hang out together here. Whatever challenges you.
1:06.8	Welcome to the God pod. The show that answers the age old question. What if God was one of us?
1:14.8	But we couldn't get Joe and Osborne. So you're stuck with me. I'm God. Thanks so much for joining me on the show once again. Big show for you today.
1:25.8	We've got the top 10 most absurd Bible stories that didn't make it into the final cut of the Bible.
1:32.8	Yeah, we've got world news, entertainment news, heaven news, and all kinds of fun stuff. I'm here today with my pals. What's up, Jesus?
1:40.8	Hello, God. Hey, everybody. What's up, Holy Spirit? What a beer. Welcome back.
1:48.8	And Santa Claus too. Hello, Mary Monday.
2:00.8	Wow. Is that like a Mary Monday to you? Kind of peed it out there. Yeah, you did.
2:07.8	Okay. Before we get on with the show, I want to remind you that if you want to support this show, head over to patreon.com slash God pod.
2:17.8	For just five bucks a month, you get every episode of this show ad free and lots of other goodies.
2:23.8	What are the other goodies? You'll be helping us out. That's what.
2:27.8	Well, shouldn't you tell them what the perks are? You get to like privately message me and harass me if you want.
2:33.8	Like we never say it. So I want to, I just thought we'd say it. You get a private channel on our discord. Oh, yeah. It's like a little club. Yeah. I mean, mostly it's the ad free thing. Okay. If I'm being on. Yeah. And you're supporting us, which means a lot.
2:47.8	You should add another tier. And I listened to, I tried that once. It was too complicated. What about shirts? We want shirts. There are shirts. There is a shirt. What about a tote bag? I need a tote bag. Oh.
2:59.8	There's a god loves gays shirt. It's a little controversial for me. No, we had the logo. What about the logo of the show that has me smoking a joint with the parental advisory sticker? Is that good? I don't care for reaper humor.
3:15.8	That's why he had to Google it last time we had our 20 show. Santa only cares for humor. So offensive that it must be cut from the show. What about like a fanny pack? Yeah. Yeah. Well, people would spring for a tote bag to say.
	...

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