Shireo ladies and blokes, Jackie Shimmel here, current Duchess of Notting Hill and wanna

be lady of London.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm the writer and creator of blog that nobody has

ever fucking heard of in the UK, aptly titled The Bitch Bible.

I learned that the hard way thought I could do like a little name dropping when trying

to secure a difficult reservation here and people look at me like I'm the devil.

I mean apparently the bitch Bible is not a super likable title over here or maybe anywhere.

So that's fun.

I am currently sipping Earl Grey tea spiked with Greygoose in my flat and hiding my scouts

from the rain because they do not have adequate blow dry bars this side of the pond.

Winning asked to look like Kate Moss, walked out looking like John Bene Ramsey.

Not ideal, especially not in this fog.

I've been living in London for over a month now and I'm adapting as best as I can but as

you can imagine it's kind of hard out here for a bitch like yours truly.

Most people are just so polite and it's not that I'm necessarily impolite.

It's just that I'll probably end up just owning my parents when I get home for opting

me out of cattillion as a small child.

I spend a lot of time alone, I do a lot of dining alone, I don't want to miss any of the

British experiences during my days.

I'm here with my puppy daddy who's you know working as a soft so I'm alone a lot and in

America that's great.

I've got my spots, I've got my stick.

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