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The God Pod

God Returns From Vacation To Smite The Wicked

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.71.2K Ratings

🗓️ 10 January 2022

⏱️ 66 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

God returns from a 3-week vacation to find the world on fire. God, Jesus, and Satan catch up on what they did over the break. For example, Satan caught the ‘rona. Jesus responds to Don Jr. criticizing “turning the other cheek.” Later we discuss selling farts, the Pope vs. pets, and the 1-year anniversary of the capitol attack. After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans. NEW EPISODES MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS The God Pod is everywhere! YouTube: https://youtube.com/c/TheGodPod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegodpodcast Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheGodPodShow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodgodabove/ Join our Discord server for FREE and hang out with fellow fans of the God Pod:: https://discord.gg/7v3Cc4pjMC Get the God Pod ad-free on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/godpod Find the God pod wherever you get podcasts. thegodpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Today on The God Pod Satan got COVID. Oh, are you okay, Satan? Completely asymptomatic, the most

0:09.2

satanic version of COVID I could get. Ah, damn it, of course. Not a cough in me. I felt

0:14.8

healthier with COVID than without. I almost became a conspiracy theorist. He almost started

0:20.0

endorsing getting COVID. He enjoyed it so much. I almost started saying, guys, I don't know what

0:25.6

the big deal about this thing is. I can't believe it took me this long to play a game with God

0:34.1

in the title. Yeah. I'm really identified with the main character. I see why you love it because

0:38.5

he also has a son that he's yelling at all the time. So you probably- Exactly! It's a story of an

0:45.1

angry God who maybe smoked too much in the past, he regrets it. But what about the voice?

0:54.8

Just make it a little deeper. It'll be fine. Oh, bother. Christopher Robin. I am here. It's me.

1:03.6

Oh, okay, I got you. Winning the poop. All stuff in fluff. You go more bare. Oh, bother.

1:11.8

Give me some motherfucking honey. I'll kill you all if you don't give me more honey.

1:30.1

Welcome to The God Pong. Welcome back. It's 2022 in the Lord of Me.

1:36.0

On your host of hosts, the Good Lord with the Most, the one and only Almighty God.

1:40.9

Thank you for joining us as we attempt to restore order to this broken multiverse

1:47.2

that I made with Jesus's help. What's up, Jesus?

1:50.7

Hey, happy New Year. So good to be back. Yeah, happy New Year.

1:58.0

A fine New Year's indeed. Wow. How ominous. That was the most Satan voice I've ever done.

2:05.3

I think listeners will be like, oh my gosh, they recast Satan. Who is that?

2:12.2

Satan's starting to hear us strong. Oh, yeah. Hello. I got a lot of rest and relaxation. Uh-oh.

2:20.4

Over the break. And now my voice is super dark and sexy.

2:27.1

All right. Well, we'll see how long that lasts. But so far, you're really, you're really

2:30.9

in person. You're really. I mean, it's been bottling up for weeks.

...

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