Don't Drink Pee, Dammit!

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 13 January 2022

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

God is shocked to find out what some humans are doing now. God, Jesus, and Mary Magdalene catch up on what they did over the break. For example, Mary caught the ‘rona. We discuss who is more evil, Queen Elizabeth or Dick Cheney. Later we discuss how the whole world seems to have caught omni-global hyper-mega delta-cron. After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans. NEW EPISODES MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS The God Pod is everywhere! YouTube: https://youtube.com/c/TheGodPod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegodpodcast Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheGodPodShow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodgodabove/ Join our Discord server for FREE and hang out with fellow fans of the God Pod:: https://discord.gg/7v3Cc4pjMC Get the God Pod ad-free on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/godpod Find the God pod wherever you get podcasts. thegodpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Today on The God Pod, Jesus hasn't been seen on Earth for like 2,000 years.
0:06.0	Yeah, they're gonna have to wait a lot longer. They thought they were waiting long.
0:09.0	And for me, it's even longer.
0:11.0	All of these signs that say Jesus is returning soon is returned as imminent.
0:15.0	I'm like, I'm not going anywhere near Earth anytime soon. Sorry, update your billboards.
0:20.0	Like, remember back in the day, Mary, you were like the head-opposite.
0:26.0	But the people don't want to remember because they let the Catholic Church lie to them for all of these years.
0:33.0	And I was doing unpaid labor all of these years.
0:38.0	Mary got mentioned more times than any other possible.
0:42.0	And I got the church left to me. You know what? I don't even want. It's such a dark time.
0:47.0	I don't mean to dismiss, no. So please don't drink your own piss.
0:56.0	I like it. Yeah. And then the last line is, even though we're damn to this hellish abyss, please don't drink your own piss.
1:06.0	I like it. Thank you.
1:17.0	Welcome to the God pod. I'm your host of hosts, the good Lord with the most, the one and only Almighty God.
1:26.0	Thank you for joining us as we attempt to restore order to the multiverse.
1:30.0	I'm here today with my pals, Jesus. Hey.
1:34.0	Is that your catchphrase? Hey, I haven't settled on one yet.
1:38.0	I like the whole rising for you every week, like a new thing. And then I also like.
1:43.0	You sound like what would it? What would I do? You're about to find out.
1:48.0	Right. Right.
1:49.0	You're not a real housewife.
1:52.0	You're about to find out. Exactly.
	...

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