God Loses Mega Millions Lottery Again

The God Pod

God

Humor, Comedy, News Commentary, Satire, Satan, God, News, Montypython

4.7 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2022

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Jesus and Mary Mags stop by the God Pod to mourn our Mega Millions loss and scratch our heads at a leaking Noah’s Ark museum. On JFC LOL we chat about pronouns in the Bible, and Jesus googles vagina paintings live on air. We also private-jet-shame celebrities, praise the satire of Grand Theft Auto, and swoon over Beyonce. Wow! How anyone could pass this episode up is beyond me and I’m omniscient. Hit listen now! Listen to the God Pod while supplies last! After 6000 years of running the universe, God realized that Satan is kicking his butt, like, really bad. Over the centuries and despite lots of trying, God has not been able to smite the forces of evil. So, he started a podcast to do just that. Full of fun and heart, the God Pod is a twice-weekly opportunity for God to hang out with his fellow deities and maybe even meet some interesting humans. NEW EPISODES MONDAYS AND THURSDAYS The God Pod is everywhere! YouTube: https://youtube.com/c/TheGodPod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegodpodcast Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheGodPodShow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodgodabove/ Join our Discord server for FREE and hang out with fellow fans of the God Pod:: https://discord.gg/7v3Cc4pjMC Get the God Pod ad-free on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/godpod Find the God pod wherever you get podcasts. thegodpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey bad bitches, today on the Godfather.
0:03.4	A leader just mad he can't be Scalia.
0:05.6	Like Scalia was more owner, more cantankerous than you and now you want to outdo him.
0:10.6	He's the Kylo Ren to Scalia's dirt fanar.
0:13.0	And that's why his hairline is doing what is doing, that's why God taking that away.
0:17.5	One of my favorite smites.
0:19.1	Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
0:21.4	Famous shoddy, George O'Keefe.
0:24.1	I accidentally texted her the other day.
0:26.3	Oh you did?
0:27.3	Yeah, it was ridiculous.
0:29.6	You were like, hey, I need something for the crib.
0:32.5	I need something for the breakfast though.
0:34.4	Could you whip me up one of those nice flower paintings?
0:37.9	I think actually God didn't even know it was vaginas in there until I just said it.
0:41.7	And now he'll never unsee it.
0:46.4	Now I can't stop looking.
0:48.2	Oh, oh, oh, oh.
0:50.5	If you're not a girl or a girl, you're not in the party.
0:53.6	Oh, I tried to listen to it and it was just static.
0:57.0	Exactly.
0:58.0	It doesn't work.
	...

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