The phone rang and woke me up.

It was 4 a.m. in the morning, but I still answered.

It was an FBI agent.

He said, Ted, we found your brother and your family needs you, right now.

I asked the agent if my brother was okay, but he didn't answer and he restated that I needed to get over to my parents' house as fast as I could.

So I got dressed and got over to their house.

That's when I found out what had happened. That's the exact moment when my world fell apart and that was 20 years ago and

It's taken me years to pull my life back together since that day,

but I was able to do it.

And I believe that no matter what you've been through in your life. You can still find meaning and

fulfillment. You can still find happiness. You can still find joy. You can still find

and create a life that you truly, truly love living.

But before I get to that, I want to tell you the rest of the story because I was already having a tough time.

I lost my biological mother in a car accident when I was 14

right before I started high school and right when I got into ninth grade I started getting into big trouble.

I skips class. I drank a lot of alcohol. I smoked a lot of weed. I was arrested several times for skipping school for

other things for drugs. You know I did exercise but I was compelled to lift waste because I suffered from very low self-esteem and a profound sense of powerlessness.

When my mother was taken away from me I felt like something had been

taken away from me that I didn't have the power to get back. Like I couldn't, you know it there was nothing I could do she died in a car

accident and then she was gone and I was left having to deal with that.

By some miracle I made it through high school.

I'll be it with less than stellar grades.

...