Give it away, give it away, give it away now & other tales

Simon Mayo's Confessions

Bauer Media

Comedy

5 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 April 2025

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What do a budgie's flight for freedom, a stuffed cornet, shouts of 'Wally' and some hot hot sauce have in common? They're all tangled up in this week's mischievous confessions!

This week's episode features Chad's chilli confession, where a childhood love of spicy food let to an unfortunate A&E trip for an unsuspecting classmate. Then there's Andy's sad budgie tale, featuring a high-stakes race between man and bird - Andy won and the budgie had a less than happy ending. Meanwhile David's campsite chaos saw an innocent game of shouting "Wally" spiral into a full sale eviction of his Baptist camp neighbours and over in Class 3, Nick took extreme measures against an irritating cornet player, leading to the unforgettable phrase: "Jammed a cushion up his cornet"

In the Not For Broadcast Section we hit peak disgrace with a Vomit Comet. Plus, we discuss the secrets to becoming the best podcast in the world an why every household should keep an emergency supply of full fat milk.

Buckle up - It's going to be a good one. Have your own confession? - email it to [email protected]

Transcript

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0:00.0	The way you eat a cream egg says everything about you.
0:03.0	If you eat yours in small nibbles, that means you're real deep.
0:07.0	You can sense when someone's about to text you.
0:10.0	Huh.
0:12.0	Your dreams mean stuff.
0:14.0	You keep all your birthday cards in a little box.
0:18.0	And your happy cry at anything heartwarming.
0:24.8	Search cream egg test to find out who you really are.
0:27.8	Cabri Cream Egg.
0:29.0	How do you eat yours?
0:30.9	Step into our confessional.
0:32.9	Confess all.
0:33.9	We won't tell anyone.
0:35.5	Just the entire nation.
0:37.6	From Greatest Hits Radio, Simon Mayo's Confessions.
0:41.7	Yes, hello. Welcome again to the Confessions podcast. Still scientifically proven to be the UK's
0:47.0	favourite podcast. Number one in all charts. All of the charts. All the podcast charts.
0:53.1	Love it. Why are you sounding skeptical?
0:55.0	I don't know.
0:56.3	Have I looked at the wrong charts?
0:57.2	Arts and culture, sciences.
1:00.5	All of them.
	...

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