Hi, my name is John Kim and I'm a therapist who went through his own

rebirth. I share my feelings and revelations. I believe in casual or clinical and

with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose because self-help

doesn't have to be so complicated.

Hey real quick, before we get to today's episode, I want to remind you to check out my new book Single on Purpose,

Part memoir from all my singlehood journeys, but also real life stories from clients.

I think you will find it entertaining and also helpful, not just if you're single single but also if you're in a relationship

because this book is not an anti-relationship book it's a pro-relationship with yourself.

Connect to yourself first check out single-on-purpose.

It is time to give single Hood a cape because it's been vilified for so long.

A lot of sticky happens because we don't have a life and by sticky I mean

co-dependency, emeshment, jealousy, control. I want to let

you know that no one owns the relationship and I think this is one of the greatest

misconceptions and it's not something that we are maybe consciously thinking and it's a

slow drip right it happens over time no one goes into a relationship thinking

thinking they own it's that's not what I'm saying. That's not what happens. But you get into a relationship and you start to lose your life, right, and slowly.

And so the relationship kind of becomes your life, right?

It becomes the sun that you revolve around.

And if that's the case, then if something goes wrong

in the relationship or if there's some kind of conflict

then it means the world because that becomes your life and when this happens we

start to lose ourselves in the relationship and this is so common. Remember you're sharing your life with your partner,

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