My son often looks at me like I got something on my face. He's starting to piss me off.

Like imagine you had someone wrote on your nose, Fag, and you were talking to someone.

Imagine how the other person would do that thing. You know that thing where you're trying

out to smile and you sort of contort your face? A handy tip if you're doing that, you pretend

your neck hurts. So say someone has a rude word on their face. You sort of, you just, and

you don't want to smile, you sort of go, ah, God, my neck. Ow, yikes. And it lets your

cheeks do a smile. She give you smile points like, ah, yeah, yeah, my neck. Wow, really

hurts. Yeah. And you get your, yeah, yeah, it's out. As my friend Mick Jagger would say.

But he looks at me like that. What is going on here? This is the thing about being a dad

though is say you are, say you're out, say, say no one likes you anymore. And you're now

in the teenager phase where being the corrections officer has exed you and now you're just

Mr. Bad guy. You have to go, oh well, Mr. Bad guy. I got to take, you know, 10 years off

until I'm popular again. No hugs, no kisses. I think a lot of dads can't handle that.

You go, what are you looking at me like I have fog on my nose? It made me feel insignificant.

You just have to go, oh, you don't like me anymore? Oh well, I guess we got another 14, 15 years

before we're buddies again. Because it's bedtime. And no, you can't play Fortnite. That's

oh my god, you're not going to believe this. Those fuckers outsmarted me. And it's pretty

embarrassing. I told you I made a lock box for all the iPads and phones and everything

with a screen and all the PS4 stuff, the Xbox stuff, all locked in there. I mean, I felt

great. And then today I was, I stayed at home and I'm working at my little home office.

And I turn around and my son and his friend, also named Gavin. This is a guy by the way

who has 10 girlfriends who I later confronted and I go, come on, let's cut the shit.

...