I'm Alan Alder and this is Clear and Vivit, conversations about connecting and communicating.

The hardest part, but the most important part of conflict resolution is to change what

is in people's hearts and minds. And that takes time. It takes a lot of time. People

who've lost a loved one, don't forget it, want a peace agreement aside.

That's Senator George Mitchell who helped resolve the deadly conflict in Northern Ireland

in 1998. That's often seemed to me to be a model of resolving conflicts that seem unresolvable.

So I was excited when he agreed to visit our Manhattan studio to share some of his secrets

with me. How do you bring people together who hate each other? That was the big question.

But we began with a difference between us that was a lot less serious.

So here I am drinking tea and you're drinking hot water. What's the story behind that?

When I was a senator, Majority Leader, I delivered the response to President Reagan,

the State of the Union, address a couple of times. On one of those occasions,

I was part of the welcoming group that received him when he arrived at the Capitol just before he

was to deliver the address. And the historic practice is that a small group of the leaders meet him.

You go into a side room and you have coffee or tea or water and chat for a few minutes.

Reagan asked me if I could have someone bring him a cup of very hot boiling water.

I said, sure. And I asked an aide to do it. And he came and he brought hot water and he took a sip of it.

And he said, no, you're wondering why I'm drinking this hot water. I said, yes, we all are.

He said, it soothes my throat. It helps me get through the speech. He said, and it was recommended

to me by Frank Sinatra. So I said, President Reagan, if it's good enough for Frank Sinatra and for

you, then it's really going to be good enough for me. And I'm going to start practicing that.

And I have ever since ever since ever since. So that is an interesting story. It's funny. I used to drink

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