I'm Alan Olava and this is Clear and Vivid. Conversations about connecting and communicating.

I'm not telling a story from my own life to somebody who seeks advice because I think

I'm so interesting and they should know about it. I tell them because I think that it

can be really helpful to hear other people's experiences and to understand that they're

not alone. You're not alone and I'm not going to judge you. I'm going to simply help

expand the questions you're asking me and maybe illuminate some ways forward.

Cheryl Strait has written the best-selling memoir called Wild, which was made into a hit movie

and she's written very successful novels too. But what most made me want to talk with

her on Clear and Vivid was an advice column she wrote online called Dear Sugar. It was turned

into a book with the title Tiny Beautiful Things and I found each nugget of advice, a tiny

beautiful thing. For me, it's that rare book that you can't just not put down but when

you finish it you want to give it to a friend and you want it back. I think Cheryl's an

extraordinary communicator. One of the things that I think is essential to good communication

is being personal, not just downloading data at somebody and you're extraordinary at being

personal. You've taken being personal to Olympic levels. Where did you get that? How did you

come upon that? How did you find yourself so free to answer somebody's letter where they

express their pain and you don't just talk about their pain, you talk about your own pain?

I think that's remarkably courageous and right on track for getting in touch with the person

you're writing to. Thank you. Thank you. That's high praise, Alan. I appreciate it. I think that

the truest answer, which is always the answer I want to give, is that really part of

that is a character trait that came from the very beginning when I was a kid, I was always most

curious about our intimate lives. I was always most curious about what people were really thinking

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