Gabrielle Bernstein: The Simple 4-Step Method to Heal Anxiety, Stop Overthinking, and Stop People-Pleasing for Good
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
iHeartPodcasts
4.8 • 28.5K Ratings
🗓️ 12 November 2025
⏱️ 82 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Have you been feeling anxious lately?
Do you notice when your mind starts to spiral?
Jay welcomes back his good friend and New York Times bestselling author Gabrielle Bernstein for a deep and inspiring conversation about true inner healing. Together, they unpack Gabby’s latest book, Self-Help, which reimagines Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) as a practice anyone can bring into their daily life. Gabby shares how the parts of us we often judge, the anxious part, the perfectionist, the people-pleaser, the one who needs control, aren’t our enemies. They’re parts that have been trying to protect us, even if they sometimes get in the way.
As the conversation unfolds, Jay and Gabby unpack why so many of us get caught in cycles of burnout, self-criticism, and emotional disconnection. Gabby shares her simple four-step “check-in” practice, a way to pause, look inward, and start building a kinder relationship with ourselves. Through this process, she explains, we can start to recognize our patterns, meet them with compassion and find peace even in the midst of life’s noise.
Together, they unpack powerful questions we can all relate to: Why is it easier to comfort others than ourselves? Could our inner critic actually be trying to protect us? And how can we set boundaries without losing our empathy or warmth?
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Befriend Every Part of Yourself
How to Recognize Your Inner Protectors
How to Heal Through Compassion, Not Control
How to Calm Your Inner Critic
How to Create Boundaries Without Guilt
How to Self-Soothe When You Feel Triggered
Healing doesn’t mean fixing what’s broken, it means learning to see every part of yourself with compassion and curiosity. The parts of you that once felt heavy or hard to love are often the same ones that carried you through the toughest moments.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
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What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
03:29 What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?
06:00 Healing Deep Trauma Through IFS
08:38 Where Real Healing From Trauma Begins
10:17 Blending Therapy with Spiritual Connection
13:38 Strengthen Your Own Spiritual Foundation
16:57 The Four-Step Self Check-In Practice
20:32 The Journey Toward Feeling Truly Great
25:39 Finding Peace Without External Validation
26:46 We All Have An Inner Spiritual Power
31:00 Seeing Self-Judgment as a Form of Protection
33:40 Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
36:24 Connecting with the Parts That Protect You
41:45 Why Facing Yourself Feels So Hard
47:33 Healing Starts When You Do the Work
49:54 The Power of Forgiving Yourself
55:57 Every Part of You Serves a Purpose
57:46 What Changes When You Befriend Your Inner Parts
59:00 The Truth About High Performers and Inner Peace
01:01:45 How to Set Boundaries with Love and Clarity
01:08:47 Gabby on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Gabrielle Bernstein | Website
Gabrielle Bernstein | TikTok
Gabrielle Bernstein | Instagram
Gabrielle Bernstein | Facebook
Gabrielle Bernstein | YouTube
Self Help: This Is Your Chance to Change Your Life
Gabby's 21-day Manifesting Challenge
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. The aspects of ourselves that cause the most drama and most chaos |
| 0:07.5 | in our life or the most hated aspects are actually the parts of us that are working so hard |
| 0:12.9 | to protect us. Hey everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come to become happier, |
| 0:19.2 | healthier and more healed. Today's guest is one of my |
| 0:22.8 | dear friends, one of my favorites, and someone that is so deeply important to me, and I'll tell you |
| 0:27.9 | about something special in a second. Today's guest is the one and only Gabriel Bernstein, |
| 0:33.3 | number one New York Times bestselling author on multiple occasions, spiritual teacher and speaker |
| 0:39.7 | known for making personal growth accessible and practical. Gabby has written multiple New York Times |
| 0:46.3 | bestselling books, including The Universe Has Your Back. Her latest book, though, |
| 0:51.5 | self-help brings internal family systems therapy into everyday life. |
| 0:57.5 | If you have no idea what that is, I promise you it is going to change your life. |
| 1:01.4 | Stick around for this episode because Gabby is a leading voice on wellness stages around the world |
| 1:06.7 | and continues to inspire millions through her talks, courses and online community. |
| 1:12.7 | Please welcome my dear friend Gabby Bernstein. |
| 1:15.9 | Gabby, it's so great to have you back. |
| 1:18.0 | I love that we were just talking about how the first time we met was literally nine years ago |
| 1:23.8 | to a couple of weeks from now. |
| 1:26.0 | And I remember I had just launched this brand new show at HuffPost called Follow the Reader. |
| 1:34.3 | You were at the top of our booking list. |
| 1:37.3 | You said yes, and I must have interviewed you in like my second week at the job. |
| 1:42.3 | Yep. |
| 1:43.3 | And we became instant friends. You |
... |
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