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The Bert Show

Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, January 14 [Vault]

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

Comedy, News, Society & Culture, Entertainment News

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 14 January 2026

⏱️ 48 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, January 14 [Vault]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The Birch Show.

0:01.0

Jen, this is your friend Matt here, so why don't you set this up? Okay, this is a good friend of mine, Matt, who was proposing to an even better friend of mine, Stacey. And this is his story about his proposal, putting the plan together and trying to pull it off, even despite the rain. And he was planning this thing out for like two and a half months or something crazy, yeah? Two and a half months, really well thought out, very romantic. He is set in the bar high for the rest of his marriage. Here you go. This is Matt's proposal as of yesterday on the bird show. Casey and I've been dating for a little over two years, and we are moving in together at the beginning of August. And she and I are both pretty

0:38.4

traditional people. So I was sitting there thinking, okay, if we're going to move in, I at least

0:42.6

want to have some kind of commitment in place before that happens. So I went, talked to her parents,

0:47.7

which she didn't know about basically, you know, asked her dad permission, told her dad what I was doing.

0:52.2

So her mom and dad knew probably, I guess,

0:54.8

about a month to a month and a half before I actually did the proposal. And it was so funny

1:00.2

because my parents knew and all of my good friends knew. I didn't tell her best girlfriends

1:05.9

because I was afraid that they would say something, even if they didn't want to. That's why,

1:10.1

Jen, I don't think I called you until, what, last Thursday or Friday? Yeah, not till a week before, but like Stacey and I talk to each other probably once or twice a week or something, but not like every single, not like I'm not one of her friends that talks to her every single day. And it was so funny because leading up to this whole thing, so I probably started planning this in May. Um, leading up to the whole thing, Stacy just kept saying to me, it was in fact, like three days before, uh, the engagement or the proposal on Saturday, we were just sitting there watching TV and she was just, she looked kind of strange. And I was like, Stace, I was like, what's going on? What's wrong? She's like, oh, nothing. She's like, you know, don't give me wrong. I don't regret the fact we're moving in together. This is going to be fun, and we're definitely doing the right thing. But I just never thought I'd move in with a boy before I was engaged. And so I'm sitting there and I'm like, oh, my God. I'm like, okay, time to lie again. That's been the worst part about this whole thing is it's just been white lie after white lie

2:02.9

because within a three-day span, my parents were flying in from Ohio. I flew them in for this, which she also didn't know they were coming. So that Thursday night, she scheduled a dinner for us. She's like, hey, leave your schedule open. We're going out to dinner with Kitsy and Ray. It's going to be so much fun.

2:18.4

And I'm sitting there.

2:18.9

I'm like, okay.

2:19.8

So I call her back.

2:20.9

Stay, sorry, I can't go.

2:21.9

I got to take a client out to dinner. You know, my manager and I got to take him out. I'm going to be busy all night. Oh, okay. I understand. her best friend sends an email.

2:31.4

I would like to do a surprise birthday party for Stacey on July 9th.

2:35.3

Matt, if you have any ideas, please let me know. friend sends an email. I would like to do a surprise birthday party for Stacy on July 9th.

2:35.3

Matt, if you have any ideas, please let me know.

2:37.8

Oh, no. So she's trumping your plan.

2:40.5

I mean, it's just like, I was like, if you could plan 17 more things within the street

2:44.4

eight fan, that would be awesome.

...

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