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The Bert Show

Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, June 2 [Vault]

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

Comedy, Entertainment News, News, Society & Culture

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 2 June 2026

⏱️ 52 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

 Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, June 2 [Vault]

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The Bird Show

0:01.1

This was Marlene before we all left for vacation.

0:04.0

I haven't had a relationship in about two years.

0:07.4

I've had really, really hard time meeting good guys.

0:10.3

So I started online dating on Match.

0:13.1

We've been talking for a couple weeks now,

0:16.5

and we talk pretty much every day and we text and stuff during the day.

0:19.7

But we haven't actually met in person yet. Oh, that's pretty cool. So it's a blind date on Christmas. We've talked on the camera phone, you know, on MacChats. Okay. But I mean, technically, no, we haven't met in person. I would think that there is, that's like a zero pressure date really right there. Because you guys both have the commonality you don't agree with Wendy what's

0:39.1

I'll say what's going on? Sorry we had

0:41.3

broken equipment go ahead burn it just fall

0:42.9

the microphone just fell my microphone

0:45.2

just fell in her lap

0:46.5

hit literally fell on my lap so I'm holding it

0:49.3

okay go ahead sorry I feel like I'm about to

0:51.4

kill you last the power of radio I feel like I'm about to... Kill you and the promor of radio. I feel like I'm about to sing a song for y'all. I feel like you're hosting a game show. I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Marlene. I'm good. I'm good right now. Marlene, Marlene. I would think that the pressure here would be off, really, because you have the commonality of both being alone on Christmas.

1:13.6

So at least we get to hang out together. Right. And we're with somebody. And they had seen each other before. She said they did the Mac chat thing, and they had done, you know, the video chat thing, and they had been talking online for a while. So it wasn't complete and total blind date, but this is first face-to-face meeting, which is really, I think, exciting and kind of cool.

1:30.4

Hey, Marlene.

1:31.4

Hey. online for a while. So it wasn't complete and total blind date, but this is first face-to-face meeting,

1:28.1

which is really, I think, exciting and kind of cool. Hey, Marlene. Hey, good morning. How are you? Hi. I'm good. How are you guys? Good. You didn't have that initial shock that Jen is talking about because I think a whole bunch of dudes put like pictures up of what they looked like 25 years ago. or completely different guys

1:44.8

and then you show up on the date and the black dude you're about pictures up of what they look like 25 years ago. Right. Or completely different guys.

1:44.9

And then you show up on the date and the black dude you're about to have a date with

1:49.3

is white.

...

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