In this special Mother’s Day episode, Dr. Kim Kimberling sits down with bestselling author Melanie Shankle to talk about her latest book, Here Be Dragons. Together, they unpack the complexities of generational trauma and explore what it means to break old cycles in order to build a new legacy of healthy relationships. It’s a conversation that’s honest, refreshing, and full of humor. Whether you're a mother or not, this episode has something for you!

Episode highlights include: 

• Generational trauma affects emotional growth and relationships.

• Self-worth can be deeply impacted by parental relationships.

• Humor can be a coping mechanism for deeper issues.

• Recognizing unhealthy patterns is crucial for personal growth.

• Parenting requires intentionality and awareness of past traumas.

• Melanie embraced her daughter's individuality instead of molding her.

• Healing can come from being the parent you wished you had.

• True love is built on friendship and authenticity.

• Identifying generational trauma requires honest self-assessment.

• Creating a positive legacy is essential for future generations.

• God's timing is perfect in relationships.

• Healing is a journey that takes baby steps.

• There can be beauty in the ashes of our past.

Couples Conversation Guide: 

 

Main takeaway: 

If you were raised in the midst of unhealthy relationships, take heart—there is hope in Christ for a better future. Healing from past wounds opens the door to the freedom and joy of healthy, life-giving relationships. Along the journey, boundaries will protect your peace, forgiveness will soften your heart, and Christ must remain the foundation of it all.

 

Questions to Discuss: 

What messages or behaviors from our families growing up do we find ourselves repeating—intentionally or not—in our relationship or with our children?

 

When we face conflict or stress, do our reactions feel like our own—or do they echo how our parents or caregivers responded?

 

Are there parts of our past—such as experiences of neglect, abuse, shame, or loss—that we haven’t fully processed and might be impacting how we show up for each other and our children?

 

What do you hope your legacy will be?

 

Quotes from today's episode:

"It's okay to not be perfect."

“You’ve gotta have your truthtellers”

“There are things we may not see as big, but they become big.” 

“I always deflected with humor because I didn’t want to feel anything too deeply.” 

“They’ve achieved all these things that the world says is success, but they’re still empty.” 

“It’s so healing to be the thing in someone else’s life that you wish you would have had in your own.” 

“I didn’t get to have that mother, but I get to be that mother.”

“There is something so beneficial about having someone who’s not your friend, validate some of the experiences you’ve been through.” 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Use our Self Check Up Guide as an opportunity for honest self reflection. 

• Melanie Shankle’s Here Be Dragons

• Listen to Melanie on her wildly popular podcast The Big Boo Cast

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Did you know we have resources for families- check those out HERE.

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!