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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Friday, 9.12.25

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 12 September 2025

⏱️ 105 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lazlo and SlimFast believe that once you hit 40, your ‘check engine’ light turns on. Lazlo and SlimFast answer important questions like, “What are some porn fantasies that actually end up amazing?” And, “Would you turn in a co-worker or family member?” Nick Wright calls in to talk sports with the guys. In Headlines, SlimFast and Lazlo react to the breaking news regarding Charlie Kirk’s killer, Trump's face during the 9/11 ceremony, Epstein' s emails, and much more! Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.6

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt

0:30.6

to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.6

And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.

0:41.9

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.

0:47.7

Yo, my man, how are you?

0:50.0

I'm okay. How are you?

0:51.2

I'm great. I've never been better.

0:52.6

Oh, I don't buy that.

0:53.8

Man, my back is killing, man.

0:56.1

It's been one of those days. Yeah. Nights and days, whatever. I mean, people don't want to hear me complain. Ow! These are like serious mobility issues. I've never seen you this way. I never had like a back pain or neck pain or anything, but I think I was sick and I went to the gym and I was, I mean, I'm hoping. It was weird when you hope that's it. But I'm such a hypochondriac. Well, I'm like a could be lung cancer. And making your back hurt? Yeah, that's how it starts from. Oh, God. Come on, of course. So you went to the First of all you said. I was sick for two days. I was sick.

1:29.3

And then I was like just started that. God, come on, of course. So you went to the... First of all, you've been sick for two days.

1:28.7

I was sick.

1:29.3

And when I was, like, just started that first day, I'm like, I'm not feeling good. My oldest was like, hey, you want to go to the gym? And I was like, you know what, that won't be bad for me? You know what I mean? Like, I can sweat and work it out. Uh-huh. And I went and I was like man I want to be here all day

1:42.2

So I did leg presses and I do a lot of them up I thought I'd put like 4.15 on that thing and did it for 12. Three times. And I think the person who sat in front of me was shorter than me. So the legs were, I was, it was a little bit harder than I wanted it to be. So I was just like, screw it. and i'm hoping that that's real it but it didn't

2:01.0

hurt right after that and it's not like um you know if you lift weights or you know like that

2:06.4

soreness that you know like oh my arms i can feel them it's not that it's not it's like if i cough

2:12.2

it shoots up my back if i walk randomly it just clenches and shoots up my back.

2:18.0

And it's at a constant, I would say a constant eight with random spikes to, I may drop to my knees.

2:25.3

You know what it feels like somebody hit me with a back twice in the back?

...

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