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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Friday, 8.15.25

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 15 August 2025

⏱️ 120 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lazlo’s trashcan has live bees, and now a possum. The guys have a needed debrief after yesterday's consulting meeting. Lazlo tells his gonorrhea story, and SlimFast his herpes story. Anthony Mackie making out with a mystery woman has Lazlo feeling reflective: Is success earned? Or is it given? SlimFast is pissed at the way Lazlo eats donuts, and Little League betting is on the rise. In Headlines, a Boston family thinks they have a phrogger, PornHubs’ traffic is plummeting, people are mad about the new male Minnesota Vikings cheerleaders, and so much more! Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.6

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who

0:30.6

attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.6

And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.

0:41.9

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslaw has begun.

0:47.0

Yo!

0:48.4

What's going on?

0:49.2

Nothing. How are you?

0:50.0

I'm great, man.

0:50.7

You?

0:50.9

Good, good, good, good.

0:52.1

All right.

0:52.4

Is Kenny from Middle Kay Construction come over your house today? He is going to fix all kinds. He was at my house yesterday. Is today payday? Yeah. Okay. I told him to wait until today because he was going to put a couple things in and I was like, he was like, you can have Thursday or Friday. you know, I've got those two days blocked out for you in Laszone. I was like, um, it was do Friday because in my mind I'm thinking, I'll stop and grab that stuff the way home. Because he's going to replace like my kitchen, uh, faucet, my, put my microwave in and all that stuff. So, yeah, stuff that's needed to be done for a long time. Well, I came home and he was like, so I just had him do the bathroom where I've explained it before.

1:11.0

It was a disaster.

1:13.3

And, uh, black mold situation. Well, I don't think it was black mold. It was just because the exhaust fan didn't work. I know. I'm just, I'm exaggerating, but he said that it was like getting gross up there. So anyway, that's what he was going to do, right? you know, put a new exhaust fan in, clean that stuff off, put kills up,

1:27.6

and then repaint it, right?

1:28.9

Well, I came home, man, dude, it fixed all my doors. You know, my doors, they close, you know, it's hard to close them. I'll just sit in. Yeah, just settling in and moving the wrong way. So he fixed all those. We put lights in in in places but the crazy story is i go upstairs i take a nap

2:05.6

right and come downstairs and he's you know he's about done with everything and he goes hey man um

2:14.9

do you know you have a possum in your trash can? What?

2:17.8

Right.

...

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