Friday 5: Getting Out of Victim Mode
The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert
Ashlynn Mitchell, Brannon Patrick, Coby Mitchell
4.8 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 17 March 2017
⏱️ 5 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We are glad you found our season 1 episodes where we share early parts of our processes of learning about and exploring the impacts of betrayal on our relationship, and the challenges of healing both sides of the relationship after sex addiction and infidelity.
Our journey has taken us a long ways from the time we recorded these episodes, but many have still found help and hope for healing in the information. We hope you always seek healing first for yourself, and where possible for the relationship, though staying together or choosing divorce or separation can occur at the point of betrayal and at times even after healing from betrayal and addictions.
If you would like support in healing from betrayal we’d invite you to look at our program https://www.beyond-enough.com/beyondbetrayal
It is not a program about staying together or leaving your partner, but rather finding the healing we need as an individual who has been made aware of our partner cheating.
If you would like support from a licensed therapist contact Brannon’s office at www.therapyutah.org
To find out about Ashlynn’s groups https://www.thisisashlynn.com/mentoring
To get support from Coby check out www.growwithcoby.com
Thanks for your continued support for the podcast throughout all of our journey.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey guys, this is the expert, Brandon, and I am taking the Friday 5 to talk about moving forward. |
| 0:10.0 | And what I mean by moving forward is I want to talk about how we get stuck. |
| 0:16.3 | We get stuck in not being able to move forward. |
| 0:19.2 | And one of the biggest ways that we get stuck is we play the victim. |
| 0:24.7 | We get caught in a victim stance where we feel like because we're a victim of something |
| 0:30.5 | that we can't have what we want in our lives, that we can't get out of life what we desire. |
| 0:37.0 | And we play a victim for a reason. |
| 0:41.0 | Sometimes it's easier to play a victim than it is to take the |
| 0:45.5 | initiative and take the accountability to create what you want in your life. And |
| 0:50.3 | this really applies to both the addict and the betrayed. The addict can get caught in |
| 0:56.4 | blaming all of everything in their life on their addiction. They can blame their wife. |
| 1:01.8 | They can blame the church. They can blame their wife. They can blame the church. They can blame whatever and say, |
| 1:06.3 | look, I can't move forward. I can't have happiness. I can't have hope because I'm a |
| 1:10.2 | victim of all of these things. and the betrayed can say if my husband were different or if only |
| 1:16.9 | this didn't happen to me why did this have to happen then I could be happy. |
| 1:21.8 | Now if you think about happiness, |
| 1:25.1 | think about peace and having that in your life. |
| 1:29.3 | My question to you is, is it that you can't have that, or is it that you can't have that or is it that you won't have that and do you |
| 1:36.6 | believe that you can't because you have a story you have a story that says I |
| 1:40.6 | can't have it because because of this thing or that thing. |
| 1:44.0 | It's really interesting to me. |
| 1:46.0 | I tell my clients that, you know what, I'm really insignificant in your recovery process. I'm not that important. The way I do |
... |
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