Welcome to the Betrayed, the addicted, and the expert. My name is

Brannon and I am the expert. I'm Ashland and I am the Betrayed. And I'm

Kobe and I'm the addicted. All right so today's topic is is very interesting I think. We're

talking about what what to do when the betrayed relapses and And so, Ashland, I want to just turn it over to you.

What, my question is, is what does that even mean?

What does it mean when you relapse?

So it's, I think, a tricky. does it mean when you relapse?

So it's, I think, a tricky topic because I didn't even know I could relapse because I wasn't

the addict.

But for me and how I define it for myself is old behaviors, which before we learned the skills of recovery.

So acting out in the anger, the craziness of betrayal trauma and what it brought

for me is the relapse. Well think of the word relapse it's to lapse again to

go back and and so I think you can really get hung up on on the

shame of it I work with women who think you you know, don't say that I relapse. He relapses, I'm not

equal to him and how wrong it is of what he does. And we're not saying that in any way.

We're just saying you go back to the old behavior

that's this destructive and harmful and causes you suffering and pain.

And that's what a relapse is for a spouse, right?

Yeah.

So, what did yours look like?

I know that because there was, I mean, certainly you'd have a relax after I would disclose,

but it's like, for me when I, in in the years before the 14 and a half years

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