Ep: 5 Sobriety & Recovery - Is There a Difference?
The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert
Ashlynn Mitchell, Brannon Patrick, Coby Mitchell
4.8 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 21 March 2017
⏱️ 22 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We are glad you found our season 1 episodes where we share early parts of our processes of learning about and exploring the impacts of betrayal on our relationship, and the challenges of healing both sides of the relationship after sex addiction and infidelity.
Our journey has taken us a long ways from the time we recorded these episodes, but many have still found help and hope for healing in the information. We hope you always seek healing first for yourself, and where possible for the relationship, though staying together or choosing divorce or separation can occur at the point of betrayal and at times even after healing from betrayal and addictions.
If you would like support in healing from betrayal we’d invite you to look at our program https://www.beyond-enough.com/beyondbetrayal
It is not a program about staying together or leaving your partner, but rather finding the healing we need as an individual who has been made aware of our partner cheating.
If you would like support from a licensed therapist contact Brannon’s office at www.utahtherapy.org
To find out about Ashlynn’s groups https://www.thisisashlynn.com/mentoring
To get support from Coby check out www.growwithcoby.com
Thanks for your continued support for the podcast throughout all of our journey.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | What's up everybody? This is Brannon with the Betrayed, the addicted, and the |
| 0:04.8 | expert. Again, I'm Brannon and I am the expert. I am Ashland and I am the |
| 0:10.4 | Betrayed. And I'm Kobe and I'm the addicted. All right, so today's topic is one that I talk about all the time actually. We want to differentiate between what sobriety is and what recovery is. |
| 0:24.7 | And this is really important. |
| 0:26.9 | A lot of guys think that if they're sober, that somehow they're in recovery and sobriety is very different than |
| 0:35.8 | recovery. The addiction is an attachment disorder and you think of that word recovery. You're actually recovering something. |
| 0:47.0 | You're recovering your self-worth, you're recovering you and sobriety is you're staying sober you're not |
| 0:55.4 | masturbating you're not looking at porn you can still be very active in your |
| 1:00.5 | addiction and be sober in fact I've worked with guys who have |
| 1:06.7 | who've been sober for a long time and their attachment disorder is very much |
| 1:12.2 | still present and and actually the sobriety |
| 1:16.5 | believe it or not can can contribute to the addiction and so so let me |
| 1:21.0 | explain a little bit. |
| 1:22.5 | So a guy who is doing all of his recovery work |
| 1:26.4 | to try to stay sober, he's doing it from a place |
| 1:30.0 | of fear and control. |
| 1:32.3 | He's doing it from a place of shame. He's he's saying I have to stay sober in order to be okay. I have to stay sober in order for my wife to love me. I have to stay sober in order for me to have any value and so he works on that sobriety and he's |
| 1:47.1 | doing it from a place of shame he's feeding his shame which causes him attachment problems and he's not really when he when he |
| 1:55.2 | changed himself he's also isolating and withdrawing emotionally totally's not, he's not really getting down to the core of what the addiction is about. |
| 2:08.0 | And by extension, like one layer more on that is that, what really means is he's not being vulnerable. |
| 2:14.0 | Yes, right? Well and Kobe I'm glad you brought that up because the best |
| 2:20.9 | indicator of recovery is an ability to be vulnerable because if you've recovered |
... |
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