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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Friday, 12.19.25

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 19 December 2025

⏱️ 119 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lazlo's Dad worked for organized crime, and Gary Bus ey gave the most INSANE Christmas present. Christmas shopping is stressing SlimFasts’ wife OUT. Lazlo had a plane fly over the Royals that said, “Sluggers a pussy,” Dubai Chocolate was created to cover up a porn act. What's a good quarterback name? Lazlo places his sports bets. In Headlines, the guys discuss the Epstein Files being released today and the current photos available, Greg Biffle dying in a plane crash, the new Kennedy Center being re-named, and much much more! And, Happy Holidays! We’ll be returning back on the 5th. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.3

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.6

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who

0:30.6

attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.6

And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.

0:41.9

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.

0:47.0

Yo!

0:47.5

What's up, your big ganglish son?

0:49.8

Well, nothing.

0:51.1

What are you doing here?

0:52.6

What do you mean?

0:53.5

Well, I don't know.

1:11.1

I woke up this morning and I kept thinking, oh, just look at my phone. Well, so I was slow in the air. It's cold as hell. My back hurts more than normal today. I was super tired. I hurt and I'm not sick. But I was like, you know what? It's the last day before crucifurcation, whatever.

1:14.0

Well, right. That's kind of what I was... Well, I was just like, I'll be able to catch up on sleep or whatever after this.

1:18.1

sure sure that's all very logical but it just you know over the years i've just kind of gotten

1:21.4

the idea that we're so close to the finish line that once you get there and especially

1:24.8

when you're covered by when your doctor's over there saying hey he doesn't I've just kind of gotten the idea that, oh, we're so close to the finish line that once you get there,

1:29.2

and especially when you're covered by it, when your doctor's over there saying,

1:28.9

hey, he does not have to come to work.

1:31.3

Him coming to work.

1:33.3

I know, but it's almost like having, you know, pain pills or a benzone.

...

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