I've got about 10 seconds to tell you how to get two-for-one tickets for top-draw comedy nights near you thanks to our friends of the TV channel Dave

An absolute radio.co.uk

Also, I've got to tell you about how you can win prizes while you're there too

I ran out of time though

Welcome to the show. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and yes you guessed it

And now the producer's just turned to switches which always makes me think the first part no one could hear me at all in the nation

Do you know what I mean? Say it again, just say it again

Now I can't be bothered to say it again. I didn't like it. It's not going to get any better

We should explain my name's Alan Cochrane rather than just that I am the Cochrane

Oh God, you're an egomaniac with this. My name, this and my name, that's somebody asked me the other day if I genuinely dislike the Cochrane sound effect

I said no, I'm fine with it

I like he's getting fans already asking him show questions. I never get that

My mate Dana listens to the show a lot. Sent to me, I feel that Alan doesn't really embrace the Cochrane

I don't know if you've ever tried embracing the Cochrane but they've got their flottery

Many years ago

You know what I mean? They're in your face slots

They're in entire sequence in Rocky based on this exact training

You know they've seen where he's chasing a hen around in a courtyard

I don't remember that

Sure, that's right, isn't that pack out and billy the kid?

Oh that's the turkey shoot

It's a different scene altogether, let's not go into any of that

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