Hello everyone, welcome to the Bitch Bible Podcast.

I'm feeling much better this week.

Still semi-nasally, but living as my best self, I'm wearing pink suede pants right now.

Pink and suede.

I feel like I'm definitely the coolest version of myself here.

I feel like things that make me tacky in Los Angeles make me very, very cool in London.

I'm wearing feathers, I'm wearing leather, I have sequins, I have fringe, I have weird like sony Morganes ask for head things.

And I am living and breathing, okay?

So yeah, that's that.

Just a quick update.

First things first.

You guys, as you might know, I have my finger on the pulse of all things trendy and now.

And please tell me what is more of the moment than being sexually assaulted.

Nothing.

And you know, I like to stay trendy.

Obviously, so not to sound like a bougie asshole, but last night I went with a girlfriend of mine for a very romantic couple's massage at the amazing four seasons spot in London, which just holy fuck dreams.

It is so beautiful.

It's bougie-tastic.

And we had a long, rough weekend.

It was a good friend of mine's birthday.

We day drank, we were, we played laser tag.

It was ridiculous.

...