Cheerio, Govna. That's my amazingly well-crafted uh, English accent. You're welcome. I'm Jackie

Shimmel, writer and creator of Blog Turned Podcasts, The Bitch Bible, coming live from

Notting Hill in London Town. I regret saying that. I hate when people say London Town. It's

so stupid. It's like every basic bitch on Instagram. London Town, uppercase, lowercase, uppercase,

lowercase. Okay, I'm done. Sorry for missing last week's episode. I was sick as fuck. As you

can probably still hear, I'm very nasally fran, dresser, esk. But I guess that just happens

when you travel and it's cold as fuck outside. So at least I'm breathing, I'm standing, I'm

living and I'm very ready to get out. Eat shepherds by drink beer, get fat. But it's been nice

just being inside and recovering because I'm terribly afraid of ISIS. It's all I think about

constantly and I have every family member texting me asking me if I'm being careful and mindful

of ISIS, which I am. So ISIS, if you're listening, please take me off your list. Don't they have a

list? Somebody told me that. My future sister-in-law, I believe, told me that they have a list

of just names of targets, like American targets. But I think that their, I think Jews might have

got a pass on the list because we're already going to hell and to them we're not the chosen ones,

which is, I mean, hello, love it. But I live in fear of you ISIS, so just, you already check

me off the list. I'm chill, you got me. I'm scared. So that's politically appropriate, kicking

things off with a bang. What's going on in London? Let me give you a little update. Leo is with me.

If you don't follow me on Snapchat, you should. He's in a Union Jack sweater. He's helping me

with my pigeon fear. I don't know how many times I can say this because I feel like people think

that I just think they're gross. They're like ew, gross spiders, rats, like no, no, no, no. We are so

past the point of like, ikki fear. This is like a crippling debilitating lifelong fear of pigeons,

all birds, but especially pigeons and the pigeons in London, they will just land on you. They'll just

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