Good day, friends and family, and thank you for tuning into what may be the most important

Duncan Trussell family hour that has ever been released from this podcast studio here in Los Angeles, California

In fact, in the history of podcasts when they resurrect Abraham Lincoln from his moldering filthy coffin

Wherever it happens to lay in whatever Masonic mausoleum, it happens to be decomposing it and use nanobots to reinvigorate him

This will be the podcast that they smash into his still-moldering years as he slowly

Resilitifies using the high-tech futuristic gel that they will rub on all dead presidents to bring them back to life

After the singularity

This will be the podcast that they play in the rejuvenation pods

Because this podcast this episode of the Duncan Trussell family hour is the official beginning

of the

2012 December

That's right. This is it

This podcast is a hundred percent for all of you out there who are dissatisfied with the fact that your bodies are too fat

That you feel unhealthy that you feel a little too droopy this podcast is for those of you out there who no longer want it to be a

net loss

When you take your shirt off in front of your sweet lovers, I'm I it's it's horrifying when I look at myself in the mirror right now

It is not great. What's going on is not great my torso looks like the face of the mascot of some greasy roadside burger joint

One of those like chubby cheek freaks where my nipples are the kind of droopy watery eyes my belly button is the

Open mouth hoping that I'll shove a french fry or a croissant directly into my stomach

I don't want that anymore

Over time, I've realized that this meat body that I happen to be inhabiting is not where I want it to be and there's been time

I know people who think it's lame to get in shape

...