Finding Joy

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Sexuality, Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.7 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 19 May 2026

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Joy is not something we stumble upon. And it's not freedom from suffering. Nor is it the same thing as happiness. Joy is the willingness to see the beauty and goodness around us, even in the midst of difficulty and loss. Joy is a disposition toward living, not a feeling that comes and goes. And developing the capacity for it takes courage. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Monica Packer of the About Progress podcast to explore what joy actually requires of us, why eros love is at the heart of a marriage that stays alive, and what it means to stop trying to change your spouse and start asking who you want to be instead. SHOW NOTES: SAVE up to 30% at Cozy Earth with code JFF30 (through 6/1)—HERE are the pajamas JFF loves! Join us for the Sex Worth Wanting Retreat! Read That We Might Have Joy (currently $14.95 on Amazon)

Transcript

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0:00.0	Where we really grow into the capacity to love another person and to be capable of intimacy
0:05.7	and to be able to forge a soul more capable of joy in a fallen world hinges on choice.
0:15.0	It hinges on self-authoring. And it is on this question of who am I going to be in this situation in this moment that I'm
0:23.5	not getting the validation I want I'm not getting from my spouse the thing I want I can't
0:29.1	control that I can control who I'm going to be in this interaction and I need to be somebody that I can
0:36.7	respect and I need to be somebody that I can respect.
0:49.2	Welcome to Conversations with Dr. Jennifer,
0:55.4	a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships, sexuality, spirituality, and more,
0:58.0	all featuring Dr. Finlayson Fife.
1:06.9	Dr. Jennifer Finlayson Fife, welcome back to About Progress.
1:08.4	Thanks for having me.
1:13.2	Our most popular guests by far, and I am so grateful for your willingness to always come back here and to show up for this community. And in large part,
1:17.5	I know that's because you care so much about the type of women who listen. And we just,
1:23.7	you know, have to bring that back to you because of all that you have changed for each of us
1:27.9	individually. But today we get to talk about something you and I haven't really discussed on
1:32.4	the show before, and we've talked about a lot of things. And this is also the premise and even the
1:38.4	thesis, I would say, of your book that we might have joy. So we're going to start there because I think this is a
1:45.8	concept that when people hear the word joy, they automatically eliminate themselves from the
1:50.3	conversation. They think that's just unrealistic. It's too out there. It's better to just accept
1:57.8	life as is and it's part of that marriage as is.
2:02.0	And we are going to make that connection today.
2:04.2	So let's start with your definition of joy.
	...

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