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You're listening to Life Kit, from NPR.

Hey everybody, it's Mary L.

I remember this one time I was at the Dollar Store, browsing the wares,

when a bunch of loose items inexplicably fell off the shelf down the aisle.

I think there were straws or colored pencils or something like that.

I did not knock them over, but I also couldn't leave them there.

It felt like if I didn't pick them up, I was a bad person and this

incident would be marked down on my permanent record. Basically, I knew I'd feel guilty later.

Come to think of it, a lot of things make me feel guilty.

When I tell someone I can't do a thing that they'd like me to do.

Guilt. When I'm sick and a friend comes over to help and does my dishes.

Guilt. Yeah, guilt can ruin your life if you let it.

But these are all examples of the unhealthy kind of guilt. Guilt can be a healthy impulse

when you've actually done something wrong or harmed another person.

Guilt, when it's focused on someone's behavior, specifically something wrong that someone

has done, that can

be be done, that can motivate better behavior in the future.

...