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You're listening to Life Kit from NPR.

Hey everybody it's Mariel.

There's this Pionna Apple song that might be one of the saddest

breakup tunes I've ever heard.

Like if you're going through a breakup and you really want to wallow,

put this one on. It's called love ridden. In it, she describes

the feeling of someone turning from partner to stranger. She calls her former lover a term of endearment, baby, and then corrects herself.

No, not baby anymore.

If I need you, I'll just use your something.

Dang, you know, we saw each other every day, we traveled together, I called you baby, and now I have to just call you Bob or Barbara.

The next thing you know we'll just be waving at each other from across the street.

This sad realization is one reason people try to stay friends with their exes.

I think sometimes it can just feel like such a loss to go from someone potentially being

one of the closest people in your world to you not talking to them at all.

That feels jarring, that feels devastating, and I think people want to lighten the weight of

that loss.

That's Washington DC-based psychologist Marissa Franco. She's a researcher and the author of the book

Platonic, how the science of attachment can help you make and keep friends. And she says people tell themselves,

you know if my ex and I can be friends, then...

It's not all a waste, it's not all a loss, there's still things that I can hold on to.

...