Feel Guilty Saying No? The Science Behind Why — And How to Break Free - with Psychologist Guy Winch, TED Speaker & Author

Negotiate Anything

American Negotiation Institute

Education, Business, Self-improvement

4.7 • 748 Ratings

🗓️ 14 April 2025

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Do you feel selfish, anxious, or even guilty just for saying “no”? You’re not alone — and it’s not your fault. In this eye-opening conversation, Kwame sits down with psychologist, author, and TED speaker Guy Winch to unpack the deep psychological roots behind our fear of rejection, the guilt of boundary-setting, and the hidden emotional costs of people-pleasing. You’ll learn: Why rejection hurts like physical pain (yes, literally) How to reframe fear and rewrite the labels you give yourself The secret to setting boundaries without ruining relationships Why most people fail at boundaries — and how to do it right The one question that will completely change how you approach tough conversations This episode is a must-listen for anyone who struggles with speaking up, saying no, or putting themselves first without shame. Plus, Guy gives a sneak peek into his upcoming book Mind Over Grind — and why burnout at work is hitting harder than ever.

Transcript

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0:00.0	cognitive reappraisal, we call it in colloquial terms reframing. What it means is that you are re-praising something, you're rethinking something through. You're trying to reframe it. And reframe it means you're trying to get a different perspective on the same set of facts, to zoom out and see things from a different angle, to find a silver lining in a difficult situation, to find an opportunity
0:22.5	in what would otherwise be a demoralizing situation. By finding those silver linings, those
0:27.8	opportunities, by getting a different perspective, we are reevaluating that situation in terms that
0:32.8	are more conducive and are more beneficial to us. Again, we are looking at the same thing. We're not looking at a
0:38.6	different reality. We're just looking at the reality from a different vantage point that gives us
0:43.1	more tools and more freedom. And so it's called cognitive reappraisal in the literature. That sounds
0:47.8	complicated. We use reframing in day to day.
0:52.1	Hey, I'm Kwame Christian, and you are about to step into the world of Negotiate Anything,
0:57.0	the number one negotiation podcast in the world where we teach you how to make difficult
1:02.0	conversations easier while getting more of what you want in the process.
1:06.0	Each episode is packed with practical tips and strategies from the experts.
1:10.0	We delve into negotiation, conflict resolution, and leadership skills that are crucial
1:15.2	in both business and in life.
1:17.6	Whether you're closing a deal, managing a team, or navigating personal relationships,
1:22.4	negotiate anything provides you with the tools you need to succeed.
1:26.4	Our conversations are real, relatable, and most importantly, rooted in practicality.
1:31.9	So if you're ready to transform your conversations and elevate your negotiation skills,
1:37.0	join me on Negotiate Anything.
1:39.1	Subscribe and listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you love to listen.
1:45.4	Let's make every conversation a winning negotiation. Guy, thanks for joining us today. Thank you. Having me. It's my pleasure.
1:53.2	It is our pleasure to have you, my friend. So how do you get it started by telling us a little bit
1:56.9	about yourself and what you do? I'm a psychologist. I have a small private practice. I also am a
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