Fan Mail Friday #45 | Red Flag Intervention

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.7 • 11K Ratings

🗓️ 15 January 2016

⏱️ 25 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #45! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend! In this episode: How can you objectively qualify relationship red flags in your own situation when your people-pleasing tendencies have blurred the current boundaries on which that relationship was founded? How do you build your socializing and friendship skills up when depression has made you take a long hiatus from being around people? To what extent should one allow the workplace to touch one's personal life (especially when one-sided romantic interest pierces the usual veil of professionalism)? They say practice makes perfect -- are you missing out on this practice by not dating casually when you've made a choice to wait until you're more ready to settle down? What advice does a former kidnapping victim have for someone who keeps getting "manjacked?" If you know you're moving to another country soon, is it wrong to lead on "a sure thing" without telling them? How can practicing gratitude change your life forever? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-45-red-flag-intervention/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Time for fan mail Friday where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right?
0:06.5	If you're new to the Art of Charm Podcast, this is not a great place to start. Most of our content is more in-depth and longer format.
0:13.1	So check out the best of at the Art of Charm.com slash best or the fundamentals toolbox at the Art of Charm.com slash toolbox.
0:20.4	That's where we've got the fundamentals of body language, nonverbal communication, attraction, negotiation, networking, and everything else we teach here at the Art of Charm.
0:28.8	All right, let's cut to it.
0:30.1	Dear Jordan, first off, I want to thank you for all the outstanding content you and your team provide at the Art of Charm.
0:36.0	I have learned a great deal from the podcast and truly appreciate the advice and information.
0:41.0	You're welcome. By the way, we're breaking this downline by line because it's super long.
0:44.4	Anyway, you're welcome.
0:46.5	All right, my question is about relationship red flags. I know you've covered the topic on previous podcasts,
0:51.8	but I'm finding it difficult to apply the advice objectively to my situation.
0:56.0	I'm currently engaged to my fiance and I'm not sure whether the anxiety I'm feeling about our upcoming marriage is normal,
1:02.3	or if it's something I should be concerned about. We've been cohabitating for several years before getting engaged,
1:07.6	and admittedly I dragged my feet for a long time before deciding to propose.
1:11.7	My fiance was my first serious girlfriend, so perhaps part of this is because I didn't have a dating history to draw from
1:17.7	to determine what is normal or acceptable behaviors.
1:20.8	Myself being a textbook people pleaser and my fiance being more of a controlling type,
1:25.6	I found I've sacrificed things important to me over the years, which created resentment and is a big reason why I was so reluctant to move it forward.
1:32.8	I've pushed back in recent months, standing up for myself when I realized she is being unreasonable,
1:37.3	but the conflict that results makes me reconsider if the pushback is worthwhile.
1:41.6	I hadn't realized until recently that my people pleasing behavior created this unhealthy relationship dynamic
1:47.2	as I was never able to set proper boundaries from the start.
	...

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