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The Art of Charm

Fan Mail Friday #40 | Disastrous Toasts and Punctual Lurkers

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.711K Ratings

🗓️ 11 December 2015

⏱️ 9 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #40! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend! In this episode: In the 21st century, who pays for what and when in the world of (American) dating? When is the right time to bring your serious significant other home to meet the family? Does your relationship have what it takes to level up? How does the responsible, punctual one stop feeling like a weird lurker while waiting for habitually tardy friends? When traveling alone, how do you meet people -- of any gender -- while making it clear that you're not hitting on them? How do you overcome the fear of giving a disastrous toast at a wedding? If you have outdated or inaccurate programming in your brain, you simply can't interpret things differently until you rewire your programming. Jordan talks about it a bit in this short video. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-40-disastrous-toasts-and-punctual-lurkers/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

Transcript

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0:00.0

All right time for fan mail Friday where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off

0:06.5

Right if you're new to the aoc podcast. This isn't the best place to start

0:10.1

Most of our content is more in-depth and much longer format so check out the best of at the art of charm.com slash best or the fundamentals toolbox at the art of charm.com

0:19.3

slash toolbox

0:20.1

That's where we've got the fundamentals of body language and nonverbal communication attraction negotiation networking and everything else we teach here at aoc

0:27.9

All right, let's cut to it. Dear Jordan in the 21st century. It's hard to know who is supposed to do what? For example, who pays when we go out on a date?

0:36.2

I want to be a man and take charge, but I also don't want to have to foot the bill every time I go out. So what do I do? Signed confused.

0:45.0

Hey confused. You'll be surprised at how simple this is. Here's how it breaks down. Basically you always pay on the first date.

0:52.1

If you ask her out and if it's a special occasion like her birthday Valentine's Day doesn't matter. She pays if she asked you out

0:58.8

If it's your birthday or if she insists. It's not worth fighting over in the last case

1:03.6

You split the bill if you're a regular couple or if you're buying something together like a weekend vacation or a wedding gift

1:08.8

And I hope this clears things up. Yes, it's a little bit too cut and dry. Maybe there's some people who disagree. I play by these simple rules and it's never failed.

1:16.7

Now remember these are American rules. So if you're listening to this and you're in Germany and you're like

1:21.0

But that's not how we'll go here. Yeah, I know that but we're assuming that you're in North America. How's that?

1:27.0

Dear Jordan, when is the right time to bring my girl home to meet my family?

1:32.0

I kind of want everyone to meet her over the holidays, but I'm not sure if we've been together long enough.

1:37.5

What's your take on the question? Signed clueless in Cleveland.

1:41.4

Hey clueless, really the right time to bring your girl home to meet your family is pretty much whenever you think that it's right.

1:47.9

There's no real guideline here. It depends on your culture, of course, but in my sort of Midwestern normal white American guy culture

1:56.6

There's no real guidelines at all. If things are serious and you see them going to the next level

2:00.8

That's the time to bring her home and meet the family. If on the other hand, you think it's a more casual thing

2:06.2

There's no need to bring her home no matter how long you two have been seeing each other. It's more about how deep things are than how long they are.

...

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