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All right, let's cut to it. First things first, Mark says, too often when hitting on women, I get that feeling of disrespect toward them knowing my goal is to sleep with them while calling it hitting on women might be part of that.

But I'll consider the potential for a relationship, but generally afterward, I have a huge respect for women and when that feeling kicks in, it screws up my mood and my attitude.

I know I shouldn't have that feeling because although they would never say it out loud, women are very much looking for partners with no strings attached just like men.

I found the best thing to do is remind myself that women love sex as much as I do, but I was wondering how other guys feel about this and how they deal with it.

It sounds like you say you've got a lot of respect for women. I totally believe that you do, but I feel like your actions, Mark, might not really be reflecting that and maybe you get negative reactions and maybe that's why you start to feel guilty.

Now, I'm reading into this a little bit, so I'm not totally sure here, but it also sounds like there's a lot of baggage attached from maybe past relationships or when you are younger that you might be better off dealing with an actual therapy. I mean, the thing is, I'm not saying you're screwed up or whatever I'm saying that a lot of us guys are programmed this way because we hear only about how this guy's bugging me he's being creepy, but we never hear about how much of a really nice phenomenon it is when a great person

who's got a great guy comes and talks to you. That makes someone's day, it makes their week. That's how a lot of relationships start. It's creepy when she's not interested in you. So as long as you're being really respectful with it and you're taking no for an answer when she isn't interested and you're good at reading nonverbal communication and things like that when she's not interested, there's nothing really wrong with this. If you're still getting a negative reaction in yourself and you know that you're reading the situations correctly, then it might be time to talk to somebody about this.

I feel like the times when I used to get these negative reactions in my gut, which when I knew I was full of crap and I would just tell a girl anything because I wanted to sleep with them aka high school slash college as an adult as a grown ass man, you know, the cards are already kind of on the table.

And as long as you're being respectful of people in general and you're not lying to them, this shouldn't be an issue. And if you still find it that it is, you might want to talk to somebody who's a professional. I don't know Jason. Am I on the right page here?

Yeah, you're totally on the right page, but it sounds like he's got this internal like conflicted feeling like every time he talks to a woman, he should be looking for a relationship and not just a hookup. And you know hookups are fine as long as you're upfront that you're looking for a hookup, you know, not every relationship is going to be long term or something meaningful.

Sometimes everybody just wants to go out and hook up otherwise we wouldn't have Tinder, you know, just be I think just be honest about it and don't have this guilt that like this internal guilt like I think somebody once told him like every time you you're with a woman, it has to be with the goal of a relationship. And I think that stuck somewhere in his head.

And you know sometimes you're allowed to just go out and have fun and don't beat yourself up about it. Just but be honest with the women you're talking to.

I definitely agree with that. JT we talked about dev by the way in a couple weeks ago was a Jason who said he had outgrown his friends. Yeah, it was like two or three weeks or three or three or four weeks ago. Yeah.

Yeah. And our weekly email was a little bit more about that as well. If you guys aren't getting the weekly emails, go to the articharm.com and sign up for the transformation kit, you know, be on our weekly email stuff too. We talked about dev.

Who'd outgrown his friends and JT wrote back with a kind of like a subtly brilliant suggestion. He says continually invite them to things that you enjoy that you just know that they wouldn't eventually they'll get the hint that you've changed. I totally understand that. I mean if you invite to kind of Shemaki douchebag beer drinking frat guys to the young Republican campery with the goal of networking they're not going to go.

And eventually if you keep inviting them to things like that and you stop calling them it'll be because you've changed man and then you don't have to worry about it so much. I really think that's kind of a funny way to do it. It's not the and it's it's not manipulative right you're literally offering to include them on things you're still doing I think that the conflict comes when you try to do things with them that you no longer enjoy just to maintain the friendship.

And Andy says concerning the mutual friends that dev has with his other friends that he's outgrown I suspect that might not be a huge issue as those mutual friends likely also see these same two guys as toxic and face the same dilemma how to say goodbye.

The real friends will stick with you and Dev could talk with those friends in advance get their temperature or give them a heads up on his intentions it's hard it takes courage but it will be worth it.

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