Time for fan mail Friday where I'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and inspiration just kidding feedback anyway to help you kick the weekend off right if you're new to the art of charm podcast

This is not a great place to start most of our content is more in depth and longer formats to check out the best of at the art of charm.com slash best

Where the fundamentals toolbox at the art of charm.com slash toolbox that's where we've got our fundamentals of body language nonverbal communication

attraction negotiation networking and everything else we teach here at the art of charm. All right, let's cut right to it.

Bella says my boyfriend is really good looking where the same age but I'm not that pretty honestly is our relationship doomed.

I will say this if your relationship is doomed it won't be because of your appearance or not being pretty enough it'll be because of your insecurity

namely your insecurity about how pretty you are or aren't appearance has actually very little to do with a successful relationship we do know that men look at

signs of youth and fertility for the initial attraction but here's the thing he already chose you you said he's your boyfriend so provided that that's true and he doesn't

he wouldn't be that guy's like what that's some girl in my class if you are actually dating in real life he wants to be with you

so your appearance isn't going to be a factor in that as much anymore low self esteem however which it sounds like we might be dealing with here is often very very toxic in any relationship

and insecurity plus low self esteem can really undermine and erode the foundation of even a strong relationship so you got to get that under control

bear this in mind at the end of the day he chose you he wants to be with you if you're together so chill out you're in and you need to get a grip

on yourself a steam and on the idea that you're not pretty enough because at some point if you keep thinking about yourself you're going to be right

and then we'll have a different situation on our hands john says what should I pick staying with my new girlfriend or staying friends with my ex-girlfriend the back story is this

I broke up with my ex-girlfriend it was basically it seems like it was modly amicable says I love to mostly because I got a job in a different place

she was really heartbroken but ultimately we ended up breaking up it was about two months ago we thought we might date again if the situation makes sense she's actually going to come visit the next few months for her own other reasons to visit other friends well alright we'll see about that

he says since I got to my new city I've been seeing a new girl who I met before she's my girlfriend now we're dating I'm not completely sure about her just like I wasn't sure about my ex there are some traits I really still like in my ex she's my best friend and I missed talking to her we were together for over two years

I've actually been messaging my ex a little bit in the last while we also talk on the phone nothing incriminating just catching up mostly I see a lot of excuses for this guy's behavior already my girlfriend found out I told her my ex is really a good friend still but she wait a minute this is the first time

that you told your girlfriend about it alright I'm not liking this but she asked me to record a call to my ex and tell her we cannot communicate with each other anymore and send it to her

she also asked me to block my ex on all social media and messaging platforms I feel like she's being really possessive but it did give her peace of mind it's making me rethink all this I still intend on communicating with my ex privately though I told her the story afterwards I don't know what it is I want holy christian I did you catch all this dude this email has more red flags than China there is nobody on either side of the border that is doing anything right it's a mess and it's insane

this is a freaking mess this guy I want to go back in here because okay they broke up it was amicable whatever they did they broke up mostly because he was moving so that's a problem because

well at least that's what he says of course that it might be a little I'm catching a shred of idealism here you know what you think the person you broke up with you start to think like well the only thing was this when chances are there was more because if she was perfect you would have figured it out depending on your age and logistics

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