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The Angry Therapist Podcast

Falling for Your Therapist: Why It Happens & What It Means

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.61.1K Ratings

🗓️ 27 October 2025

⏱️ 47 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What happens when therapy becomes personal? In this raw and honest conversation, John Kim talks with licensed therapist Rebecca Prolman about her real-life experience of falling for her therapist — and what it taught her about attachment, shame, and healing. Together they explore the taboo topic of client-therapist attraction, transference and counter-transference, and how therapy can mirror our deepest childhood wounds. 💬 Topics include: Why we develop crushes on therapists (and what it really means) The difference between a crush and being in love How to talk about attraction safely in therapy When boundaries blur and healing turns into heartbreak Why honesty is the path to repair ✨ Connect with Rebecca Prolman: Instagram | TikTok | YouTube: @rebeccaprolman Website: rebeccaprolman.com Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:09.4

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0:15.1

My clients come in and they feel anywhere from attracted to me to have fallen in love with me. And it's,

0:21.5

there's so much richness there to process around what is it about me that you're finding

0:28.3

attractive? What is it about? And a lot of times it really comes down to feeling loved, right? Like

0:34.4

they're just, they're feeling so seen and so safe. There's that, of course,

0:38.4

but then there's also this fantasy piece. There is a, I call it Hoff for teacher piece. There's a

0:43.4

something exciting about, oh, this is a professional. You're not supposed to be attracted to this person.

0:49.9

It's like this person's off limits. Yes. That is there. That makes it makes a fire.

0:55.3

That makes it fire bigger sometimes.

0:57.0

There is a fight.

0:57.8

Yeah.

0:58.3

So you confess to your therapist that you were attracted to your therapist and what was the response?

1:02.3

How did it go?

1:05.8

I'm John Kim, a licensed therapist who used to be a miserable fuck before going on a hero's journey and turning expired relationships into revelations.

1:14.2

I use my story to help others come with you instead of at you, unrehearsed on purpose

1:20.0

because self-help doesn't have to be polished or complicated.

1:24.2

Just honest.

1:37.5

So, just honest so one of the topics that i want to pull the curtain back on is um the stuff that happens in the room therapy rooms with a client and therapist which is kind of the premise of

1:42.2

my new book shit your therapist would never tell

1:44.5

you. And so one of the chapters I talk about is the chemistry that happens, you know, the crushes,

...

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