Erotica, Aliveness, and the Truth About Desire

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 6 April 2026

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, John sits down for a layered conversation on erotica, desire, safety, and what it really means to feel alive in your life and relationships. They explore the idea that erotica is not just about sex, but about presence, sensuality, connection, and being fully turned on by your own life instead of moving through it on autopilot. The conversation also unpacks why sex and closeness can feel so different for different people, how safety shapes intimacy, and why desire often changes in long-term relationships. John, Madeleine and Vanessa also talk about self-abandonment, the pressure we put on romantic relationships, the tension between love and freedom, and the importance of living not just from the mind, but from the body and soul too. This episode is about intimacy, embodiment, emotional truth, and learning how to stay connected to yourself while building deeper connection with someone else. 🔗 Resources & Links 👉 Apply to Inner Compass Academy: https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy 👉 Follow Vanessa Instagram https://www.instagram.com/vanessasbennett 👉 Author of “The Motherhood Myth” Buy the Book Here: https://www.amazon.com/Motherhood-Myth-Reimagining-Expectations-Partnership/dp/1649633416 Madeleine Downey IG: https://www.instagram.com/MadeleineDowney Substack: https://madeleinedowney.substack.com 🎙️ Host Links: 📘Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Many of us have actually lost connection to what living the erotic actually means or what eros actually means, right?
0:07.6	Because inherently in those words is a lot of feminine energy, you know, which is wildness, sensuality, connectedness, presence.
0:18.0	It feels to me like when you put it in the box of sex only, you are minimizing
0:26.0	yourself and essentially like stripping away so much of what it could be.
0:43.7	Okay, one word answer, real quick. What do you get when you take three licensed therapist, a king-sized bedded coaster, a gun, one microphone?
0:48.2	The Angry Therapics podcast. That was too easy.
0:52.4	You said your... Oh my God, Mel, you got to come closer.
0:56.2	Slumber party.
0:57.5	I'm going to say contradictions.
1:01.0	My name is John Kim, and you're just listening to the Angry Therapist podcast.
1:06.1	So first, I want to thank you guys for participating in this.
1:10.2	I've been trying to do different and creative things.
1:14.3	Also got tired of just driving around my golf car, talking to myself.
1:18.3	And so I said, hey, let's use a studio.
1:21.2	I'll jump on a bet.
1:22.0	I'm trying to recreate.
1:22.9	If you're watching this on Spotify or YouTube,
1:24.5	I'm trying to recreate a 90s like slumber party. Reminds me of high school listening to Loveline. So we're being on the radio.
1:32.9	Yes. Teeth Loveline. Said to is that too. We honestly know offline. But no. That's like that's got just aged you.
1:40.4	Love. Love line is a 31 milteer. She has no idea whatine is a, was a national syndicated radio show. That the... Dr. Drew, Adam Carolla. So we had a professional male. So you know a doctor, you know. No. Oh, she don't. Why would she? Dude, they're old. Holy shit. Okay. Never mind. Did Colin to radio shows during Sympowice. All the tab.
2:00.9	Well, it was a nationally syndicated radio show that then became a TV show on MTV.
2:06.1	So John knew him more when it was the radio show.
	...

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